For a Penny Less

13 years back when I made my first passport I paid a fee of 100 Rupees, a bribe of 1500 rs at the passport office and a bakhshish of 300 rs to a policeman. As a result of which i was privileged to see my passport being "made" in front of me. A rare honour isnt it?I must say I got a huge return on the investment that I had made on my passport inlcuding a 6 year stay in England. That was bribe well spent:)After a three year lapse, I decided to renew my passport and keeping in mind the inflation, had set aside adequate amount to be spent under various heads. But this time the total cost has come down dramatically as has the time to get a passport. The break up is like this: Passport fee 1500 Rs, bribe at passport office, none, bakhshish to policeman, none. I actually spent less money 13 years later to get a new passport. Who says India is not developing?

Dog Poop and More Crap

My dog has been salivating for the last few days figuratively speaking. Dogs normally salivate a lot, but the change of behaviour in my dog has been stimulated by the fact that the pavements in front of my flat in Worli, Mumbai has just been expensively relaid by BMC. What has new pavements got to do with dogs salivating? Everthing, especially in Mumbai. My dog and all my neighbours' dogs in fact all the dogs of the society which has 14 buildings want to crap on the new pavement. On being asked they reply that such is the trend in the trendier part of the town such as Nariman Point. The Dogs in my locality just want to follow the latest trend.Things came to a pass some days backwhen my dog sat on his haunches and was just about to do it. I had to unceremoniously pull him up and explain the following to him:1. As conscious citzens and citydogs we should supplement the efforts of the government to keep the city clean.2. I do not have 500 bucks to give away as fine nor do I have Jonny Josheph's (Municipal Commissioner) mobile number to call him3. I am not famous enough to start a civil disobedience over dog poop and get mindshare4. I do not have access to newspaper space to run my campaign. Finally, I also mentioned to my dog that should he feels too strong about crapping on new pavements, he should walk down to Nariman Point and do it there, since there is someone who will encourage him to do so and support his cause.
My dog was more reasonable than I thought and actually gave up his right to crap on clean pavemments.

Wow, Wow

What is news?

I had put this question to a senior journalist friend of mine and straightforward that he is, he replied with an analogy: "in Mumbai millions travel by local trains everyday most of them start on time and reach back on time, that never becmes news. But if one of them falls from a train and dies, that is news". I must admit, given the brilliant analogy even a child could have understood what news was. And I must admit that unlike other journalists facing the question, my friend had not callously replied "whatever the masses like is news". Nonetheless, i was no more wiser after his reply.

But as they say, there are people who learn from others' experiences and there are fools who learn from their own eperiences. This is how I realised what news was through my own experience.

Just read in the newspaper the other day that Kingfisher Airlines had to part with 15 crores on account of misuse of online payments for tickets. It is a lot of money for an airline that is true to its colours still in red. This unfortunate news was not uncommon among other airlines too. Hence it was newsworthy. Of course, everyone is interested in online payment frauds, online gambling, online pornography and etc. So all the more reason to highlight the darker side of human behaviour.

But the fact that the same airlines in an offline card swipe charged me twice for the same ticket will never become news. Money involved was small, it does not highlight darker side of human character [it was a mere clerical mistake] so it is not newworthy.

That's how I learned what was news.

I stand no chance of recovering my 4,500 Rs from an airline which has paid 15 crores on account of false online transactions. My bad luck

Schools, Ur baby and U

If you are a parent of a 3 year old and jostling, fretting and fuming to get your child into a "good school" in Delhi, it would be useful to read one particular chapter in the famous book by Steven Levitt "Freakonomics".... At least it will keep you from being hassled too much. The central thesis of the chapter is whatever you had to give in terms of genes and social environment you have already given to your child by the time she is born... rest is left to her peer group...

The first premise should obviously desist you from "traning" your child for those nasty intereviews where exceptionally nasty teachers ask equally nasty questions to your toddler and the godlike saviour high court of Delhi religiously asks those nasty teachers every year not to ask those nasty questions [I wonder why the same court allows a rape victim to be asked details about the incident in full view of packed courts, is a three year old in the presence of parents more vulnerable than a rape victim under cross examination? But I digress]

The second premise will reiterate the need to put your child in the right schools. Here is where you need to do your homework well based on your imagination of the future of the child. The problem is really yours and your expectations from your child and what she is going to be in future.

Here is a guide to select schools in Delhi: a) Noveau rich b) Rich but Shy to confess c) we make them wizards or idiots the risk is yours d) we do not sell our brand but provide wholesome education d) we are there just because of our brand and alumni. Go to the market with this criteria and u will make the right choice.

Please remember the interviews are not as bad in some schools and they really interview you and how you want to bring up your child. You should at least know that......

Cheers