Friday, November 17, 2006

Fools pay for ads...

Fools pay for advertisement, brand promotions etc; wise men partner with the government. Do not tell me you do not know this already. If you really do not know this adage you are naive and have not been around and done this.
The longest known case is that of one professor Arora whose business I presume was something akin to the marraige portals currently very popular in India. No no I am joking, he was an old world marriage fixer. There was a time in not so distant future when the all the railway boundary walls beyond the tracks in large swathe of area from Aligarh to Mughalsarai were marked "Rishte hi Rishte: Mil to Ley - Professor Arora (tel number).." [Lots and lots of proposals, just meet prof arora].
I have a feeling that these ads are still there are they continue to get brisk business for Prof Arora or is sons and all that the old man spends on them are on the cheap paint and cheap painter.....
Nearer home, one gentleman is doing brisk business by painting the walls with "Beanbags" I assume he is paying to the owners of those walls..... {do you think he is?}
What can our political leaders say? Most of them who grew up through the ranks have some experience of soiling their hands and other people's walls {free of cost} during every large and small elections.
When the walls started getting crowded or when building owners started demanding money there was a subtle shift and upwardly movement. If you are in Delhi look up the electricity posts {Delhi is the only metro in India where most of the supply wires are overhead and hence there is not dearth of electricity posts}. hanging from three quarters from the top would be a thick mass of plastic ropes, literally hundreds of them in each post, like orchids on a large tree.... You will wonder what are these? Let me tell u they represent a perpetual fight between MCD officials and those who think it is there right to advertise their chaddis, banians and hawai chappals and speacial sales free of cost on government property. These are threads with which self made ad gurus tie banners on posts across major roads in Delhi. What you see is MSD's relentless attempt to cut off the banners and leave the plastic strips behind.... It is like fighting parthenium in your neighbourhood, more you cut more they grow.
Now I think they have become stricter and our ad gurus have moved to greener pastures... Opportunity was created in Delhi in the 1980s with terrorism looming large and elsewhere in the 1990s when terrorism caught up with other cities {Delhi has always been a flagbearer!!!}.
What is the link between terrorism and free ads? None you would say. That would only show how little you know about the ad world....
With the proliferation of terrorism Delhi and other major cities went for red alerts and checks on roads... nakaband! This required large number of movable iron barricades... Here was a great opportunity for free advertisement.... Police being a state subject they are always short on money even in Delhi... so up came the enterpriseing ad man and pinted all the barricades with various things from hawai chappals to silk sarees [Police Check, Stop! was perfunctorily added to the top part of these barricades]. Over time, we had such interesting spaces as Police Station hordings for up for sale. The cost of occupying these prime outdoor spots??? Next to none, you just paid for the barricade.. or the temporary road divider...
Over the years these, what I call public service ads, have come to proliferate Housing societies [Alankar Jewellers Palm Court Housing Society]; Society Gates [ICICI Lombard, no vendors inside] and so on.
And there you are still paying large amounts of money to get your brand a place under the sun....

Free Market India

Many years back, Euromoney group used to publish the "Doing Business" series. I had the pleasure of looking at "Doing Business in India's" first edition. It was a very well researched piece and therefore very useful for any foreign investor. But no sooner had I reached the second page of the volume, I realised that the blokes at Euromoney had no idea about doing business in India. Later, my doubts about the veracity of such resports were confirmed when I returned to Delhi with the purpose of making it my home.

You have to be here for sometime to understand how business is conducted in India and by business I mean small time and now big time retailing: Walmarts of the world please take note how Indian shopkeepers get their competitive edge:
1. Start a shop in the location of your choice do not bother about regulations, there are none. Rent if at all any will be dirt cheap because the owner of the building too follows your business practices and has few overhead costs
1a. Power is free, you just have to buy a wire to tap it
1b. Save floor space by asking staff to pee on roads, park in the adjoining galis and keep the dustbin outside the shop and litter the area all around it
1c. The nearest empty space is to cater to your future expansion plans so please do not hesitate to use it should u need it
2. Draw other likeminded shopkeepers to the locality: strength and legitimacy lies in numbers [after all we are a democracy]
3. After sufficient numbers have set up shop, the area becomes a shopping complex of a market or bazar. More shopekeepers and clients get drawn to it, you become a constituency and garner political support.
4. Mark up as much as you want, people have a lot of money these days
5. Of course, you would be staying in a posh locality no where near this market that u have helped create
6. of course you will send your children to good schools, hoping that they will become cleverer than you and manage the business better
7. Strength lies in numbers (all of you are voters and consituency), local law enforcers are dependent on you for various supplements: from free tea to free lacoste tees.
8. Once in a while an old fogey of a judge will say some unpleasant truths and by the power of his office create some trouble with you. Do not fear... you can use a lot of ruse to save your skin. here are some:
a) We are poor people and hence we are being tortured (Oh really? That Honda Accord parked outside your shop is not a customer's
b) This is a democracy and noone can stop our right to earn (Yeah! U have taken away my right to live in the neighbourhood)
c) How will we send our children to school (Think of what those chidren will think of you when they grow up and find out that you were a thief and had set up illegally)
e) Government has not made adequate number of shops for us (Brother, are u living in middle ages? your industrialist cousins are crying themselves hoarse asking the government to get out of everything except governance)
Judges are of course human beings too.... they will soften up and will leave most of you free to carry on your honourable task of screwing up more areas... Jai Bharat.