Bihar Loot-ney

I was much enchanted by a hindi song rendered on the screen by Dr Shilpa Shetty. It went something like this "Dilwalon Kay Dil Kaa Karaar Lootney; Main Aayi Hoon UP Bihar Lootney". I will not attempt to translate it because much will be lost in translation. Having lived 16 years of my life in that state [in the real Bihar and not the current Jharkhand], I read more meanings into the song that many others. For one, like miss Shetty, the rivers in Bihar also have patli kamar [narrow waists], they are beautiful, dangerously attractive, and lethal when they strike:) And of course, they come to loot Bihar once every year, unlike Ms Shetty who has never set foot in Bihar.

True to tradition, this year too with the arrival of August Bihar is again on our TV screens with large parts of it flooded and with our leaders making sorties on helicopters to "assess the damage". And true to tradition of the last forty years, media is presenting this as something that has happened only this year. Hence statements like biggest flood in living memory et al. I have seen this story repeated every year since at least 1980 when I was old enough to separate bull from bullshit and it pains me to see that the trend - of repeated floods, air sorties by politicians and the reporting remaining the same. No one has ever done anything about it nor will. The reason is simple, Bihar is the most backward state in the country it neither has any money to give to anyone no do it's people ever voted on the basis of "economic and social achievements of its leaders". And of course, since the 1980s most resourceful biharis [like myself] cutting across class, caste and religion have chosen to migrate to Delhi and Mumbai if not New York and California never coming back anywhere near the Patna airport. And of course, Biharis are too good to harm anyone, all they do is to kill each other in their own state - never taking the violence out of the state nor killing anyone who pass through that state. It is, therefore, a completely autarkik society and economy, about which no one need fear and hence not do anything about anything and anyone.
For those who do not know this, there are districts in Bihar notably the Maithili heartland of Madhubani and Darbhanga where the land is flooded for almost nine months in a year. It would need a super economist to explain how people live off the land which is flooded for most parts of the year - but they do and its a miracle. The endemic flood seems to be spreading its wings to parts that were not usually affected even a decade ago, such as Champaran in the west and Katihar in the east.
I have taken the escapists route, but there are two people currently deciding on where Bihar goes tomorrow, both respectable, both with vision and both with the required talent to wind their ways through the byzantine alleys of Patna and Delhi politics to steer Bihar not to a bright future but at least to what it used to be when my father as a young 20 year old migrant landed up in the unknown town of Katihar in 1954. Oh you would also want to know the names of the two gentlemen who could "do something" about Bihar - here they are : Nitish Kumar and N K Singh.

Child Lock

I have one child and I am very protective about her. Statement of Fact, right! yes right! But do I know what to protect her from? I thought I did, especially by controlling her TV viewing time as well as content and channels that she could view.
She has been watching TV since she was one year old starting with telly tubbies, so she is now and experienced TV watcher. yes a six year old can be an experienced TV watcher especially given the amount of programme recycling that goes on in India. But I digress. To come back to the point.
Till last year due to this amazing mechanism called Child Lock my child's TV viewership was limited to kids channels only, and I was under the impression that what my child was watching was the rith stuff that children her age across the globe watched. I have to say I have had to change my views after going through with her the channels and the programmes she watches. here is what she watches, I don not remember the exact programmes but can give you a gist of the contents: The biggest problem though is that most of the programmes are not avaialble in the original english but in weird sort of translation. Thus there is this popular Japanese cartoon in Hindi of course where a monkey and a terrier are fast friends, but the monkey for some reason is called Mummabhai and the terrier Circuit, they speak in the same style as the eponymous characters in the movie series. The second prorgamme comes in the Disney Channel which for long I thought was a provider of wholesome entertianment to children, till last week that is. The programme she watches is set in a school where you can constantly see the girls and the boys bitching abut each other and trying to undercut each other. it is a child's version of a deadly saas bahu serial. They, of course there are two others one called Ninja hattori in Hindi of course, the best dialogue of which is a onomotopaeic sound which goes like this Tintin tintin ..... tintintin...; and the other one is where the main character is a piece of cheese with the usual holes and some teeth.
Is my daughter especially wicked or retarded, not really. But then what makes her watch these programmes, you may ask? The simple answer is nothing else is available. She is watched tom and jerry so many times [they are repeated very often and she knows all the episodes by heart] that she does not feellike watching them. Animal Planet? She will take some years to understand Richard Attenborough's accent, I guess and she really has no interest in the mating habits of moths, National Geographic? sometimes it's risky. That does not leave too many options. Does it?
So what should I do to ensure that my little darling does not really become retarded watching children;s channels? Or that she does not become an adult before her time watching Children's channels? There is no easy solution, but I have thoght of one simple one and am hoping that it works... I have decided to remove the child locks from all channels to give her more options beyond children's channels. This is the first step and I am sincerely hoping that she will "diversify" even if it means watching Fashion TV - yes, i am quite desperate. If this does not work, i am really wish it works, I have decided that plan B is going to be more drastic - I am going to make the child lock stand on its head and lock all the children's channels, I am sure that will make my child an adult faster than I had planned to, but that will also make sure that she will not be retarded.
Long Live Child Lock.