Seriously Stupid

Let me be seriously stupid this time. I am tired of acting and being wise all the time.

Are you one of those who suffers from a modern afflication called mobile menace? if you are serioisly mentally challenged not to know what I mean, you do not need to or you are one of the lucky ones who does not own a mobile phone.

Coming to the point I am making, no a Sunday (or even a weekday) does not go by when I do not curse some of the biggest and shall i say the best businesses in India. And since I know many of these CEOs by name and reputation I curse them by name. The culprits are typically my mobile phone service provider (AirTel), ICICI Bank some insurance companies etc. My curse goes like this: My airtel subscription does not entitle Airtel to subject me to stupid calls (I am calling from Airtel, sir, do you want to change to post paid: My answer: Darling if you are calling from AirTel you should know I changed to post paid four months ago, then under my breath: Thanks for calling darling, please make the next call to Mr Sunil Mittal!). Exactly the same call and same response to ICICI credit cards (I have a card for a year[i had it just to get rid of such calls, but that did not help!], ending with under my breath: Thank you darling can you make the next call to Mr Kamath or one of those formidable ladies at ICICI.

Mind you I am a not for a minute averse to the idea of mobile marketing/selling. But it is the brainless way in which it is done which irks me. Seriously, i do not mind if a good marketeer calls me on Sunday afternoon and engages me cleverly [a good coversation is still at a premier in this country on the mobile or face2face]. But no, it has to be something stupid, or something I already have, or something i will never need.

Why cant we make it more intelligent. But how do we do it? If I knew the answer, I would probably be the CMO (that's chief marketing officer for you) at a large company. But what the heck, this is a blog and I am free to come up with any suggestions!

1. Please do some homework on the data that u have stolen or bought or some DSA offers you.

2. Do not go by the numbers (do not be impressed by me if I offer you 2Lakhs mobile numbers in Delhi and Mumbai (ask questions such as do you have a profile behind these numbers?

3. Reduce the numbers to one tenth (out of 2 lakhs pick up only 20K

4. Ask DSA to call each of these numbers and offer a 25 Rs top up if pre paid OR a 30 Rs download free (please stick to your promise) and then say Sir/ Madam: would you please listen to me and get this reward.

5. i am sure it would be more rewarding for both the seller and the consumer

6. Over a period of time you would be able to build up a database of people who would be anxiusly waiting for your call (to top up their accouts and pass on the good word about your products)

7. Please remember, just because I stay in Delhi does not mean I speak Hindi

Please do not steal my ideas, think something of your own.

My take: Most marketing heads do not think, they just follow other marketing heads