Murder: A Middle Class Vocation Now

Once upon a time, crimes including murder were committed by criminals whose business it was to commit crimes. These crimes were reported in newspapers as a matter of routine much as terrorist attacks in Jammu and Kashmir are reported now. Then came a time when crimes like murders started to be committed by those connected with the film industry, crime especially murder dope and women related graduated to the third page of newspapers. Then crime came to the front page and prime time when politicians' sons and relatives were allegedly involved in it..... Crimes especially murders especially of young women became headlines. Headline stuff built it's own ecology of experts, retired cops whose own career recods were pretty shoddy commented on those who had not retired, security company chiefs whose primary jobs was to recruit poor biharis, clad them in stinking and dirty uniforms and make them secutiry guards started analysing crimes on TV, media persons used to copying and pasting press releases became crime investigators, even the ordinary citizens not only consumed crime reported in the media but were active as commentators and so called eye witnesses.

Finally, like everything else in this country crime became very middle class.... it was your neighbour or your friends neighbour..... These were neither famous criminals who were adding feathers to their caps, nor famous politicians nor were they famous people connected with movies. These were ordinary middle class people who became famous only because of the crime they committed and lives and families they destroyed including sometimes their own.

The police long used to the justification that if criminals are killing criminals [gangsters killing gangsters; corrupt politicians killing corrupt women; shady film producers being killed by shady music directors!] they have nothing to do but sit and watch, soon forgot about crime detection and investigation. But now that crime has become middle class they are finding it difficult to get back to good old investigtion...... a generation of police has no clue about investigation. It is like my doctor friend who when asked about the functions of the left ventricle in a medical interview told the interviewer "Sir questions related to heart were asked last year so this year I have studied only kidney and can answer questions only about kidney".... If you don't get my drift....... try jumping signal in NOIDA, you will not be able to do it without paying bribe, the policemen are so efficient..... But kill someone, it is likely that you will get scott free.....

Over Rated

Just thought of some of the people and things that are overated in India tody:
People:
Manmohan Singh's honesty
L K Advni's flexibility
Lalu Prasad's Intelligence
Sachin Tendulkar's batting capabilities
Shah Rukh Khan's Chrisma
Amitabh Bachchan's crimes
Salman Rushdie and V S Naipaul's writings
Vijay Mallay's business sense
Objects:
Handicrafts
Nike and RBK shoes
Value of advertisements
Contirnbution of technology
Capability of government
Global warming
Knowledge economy
Please feel free to add your own and enrich my list.

Bermuda Triangle and BRT

To the generation born with mobile phones and iPods Bermuda Triangle may sound like the latest brand of men's underwear from California. But to the wiser generation it would still inspire curiosity if not awe. But then it is a myth from a different era which also believed in the insane writings and findings of Eric Von Daniken. Bermuda Triangle was a trinagular rea in the atalantic off the cost of southern US where airplanes and ships regualrly disappeared since the second world war. In the 60s there was much myth and speculation surrounding this spot of Ocean and the stories around BT [Bermuda Triangle] were still still popular in 1982 when I was in class 9. it was on a fateful day with much excitement and apprehension that we asked Father Steno who taught us Geogrphy about the reality behind BT. Father Steno, a Maltese by birth and member of society of jesus by choice and a evacuee from Malta during the second world war by compulsion, was exceptionally short and exceptionally bright and exceptionally a man of few words. It was said of him that if you presented a Boeing to him, gave him a manual and a couple of hours, he would safely start flying it. In any event, in his normal conduct with us he showed very few jesuit like qualities.
It was to this man that we asked what we thought was the most important and intelligent question in Geography at that time:
Father what is the reality behind the Bermuda Triangle? Father Steno, who was then teaching us the intricacies of of south west monsoon, looked up in momentrary surprise and then seemed interested in answering the questions. Took off his glasses, ran a hand on his goatee and gave us that rarest smile between a smirk and a grunt.... and then gave the following answer in his heavily accented English: "Hah, Bermuda Traingle? Take any imaginery triangle of equal size in any part of any ocean and if you look hard you will find equal number of stories surrounging missing airplanes, ships and may be a few mermaids" That was the end of our romantic attachment with BT and Eric von Daniken!
When I read in newspapers about the daily jams, accidents and pain that the newly constructed BRT is causing to Delhi residents, I am reminded to father Steno's words.... "Take any imaginery 5.8 kilometres stretch on any Delhi road and you will find an equal number of jams, accidents and pain....

PS: The photo is the most imaginative representation of Bermuda Triangle myth I found on the internet....

We Are Finally Americans

Many years back an overseas friend told me that what struck him in India was the lack of overseas brands at airports, railways stations, street... India had cafes' soaps, detergents, shampoos, refrigerator etc.... but most of them were Indian brands... This he said was unlike any other place that he had visited, where American brands were prominent. Since my life ran parallel with the Licence Permit Raj, I felt proud at the observation. But that was then.... Now American brands are everywhere, afterall we are strategic partners which means differnt things to Kapil Sibal, Sitaram Yechury, Pranab Mukherjee, George Bush and Strobe Talbott... never mind. But the Americanisation of India is happening quietly but most certainly. Our business leaders who till the 1990s went to UK to watch wimbledon and strike business partnership have forgotten London and are flying off to Connecticut, Texas, Seattle and California. Ratan Tata, Anand Mahindra, Rahul Bajaj and Jamshed Godrej, Gurcharan Das. Asim Ghosh all US educated CEOs of the older generation are trying to keep pace with the much younger harvard and wharton returned CEOs in keeping up ties with US. Our youngsters, especially of the BPO and software industry variety are geographically separeated Americans [Gurgaon and Bangalore can be the 51st and 52nd states of the Union including the wild west spirit]. Our babies are brought up on a strong does of barbie and American cartoons. Our elders too are getting exposed to small town US through their migrant children mostly as baby sitters... We are all exposed and there is no escape.
Yet, we are fiercely Indian and would baulk at the thought of turning into Americans. How long can this process go on till we can definitely say that India as a nation has become Americanised? There is no definite answer: perhaps if the nuclear deal is signed; perhaps we start making films only for our brothers and sisters in the US, perhaphs when all the fortune 500 companies have back offices in India; or perhaps when there is a McDonald in Purnea[my place of birth?
So far as I am concerned, we have already become Americans as a nation in the last fortnight or so. This has happened with the launch of IPL or Indian Premium League. Please do not laugh.... We had taken the game of cricket from our rulers and turned it into our own and now we have given it away to our newly made American friends. I contend that IPL has very little to do with cricket so please do not spend time discussing whether 20 overs is good or not. It is just a mixture or fusion of Baseball and American Football adapted to Indian conditions including the cheerleaders, the dress, the agression, the money and the teamowners.. There is very little of cricket in it.
We have finally beocme Americans... Mr Yechury you do not stand a chance here.....
Cheers to the Cheerleaders:)