Sorry, No Sarees, Please!

Shashi Tharoor lamented the demise of the ubiquitous saree from the cupboards of Indian women in a national daily last Sunday. And, appealed earnestly to Indian women to not let this ancient mark of our civilization die a quick death. One of the main reasons as one of his respondendents mentioned against saree was "try and catch a bus in a saree" - indicating the non-functional side of the attire and hinting that with women increasingly getting out of homes and into workplaces with all the attendant problems, sarees are best left to the moths in cupboards.
Another man, perhaps not as global as Tharoor, but certainly representing the best of Indian tradition in laughter, Raju Srivastava, has a more serious lament. In a recent episode of "The Great Indian Laughter CHallenge", Raju had this mock conversation between the jeans and the top.
Jeans: I seem to be going down and down and further away from you my friend
Top: Yes, mah dahling! I too seem to be moving up and up and away from you. It seems we shall only get further and further away from each other and never be able to meet in this life.

I am not here to moralise about what women should wear or not wear. Frankly I believe one should wear what one is comfortable in and what one can carry off confidently. Of course, within the larger societial norms in mind. In fact, it is a remarkable sign of our social progress that most urban women [I do not mean just the 8 top cities, but even smaller towns] are condifently wearing cothes which not only their mothers but even their elder sisters would have cringed at. Critics would call this a dubious sign of progress but they would forget that such small changes are harbingers of larger changes in society. Remember those days when you went out and bought cigerattes for your girlfriend who was a smoker but did not want to go to shops to buy the stuff and people who knew you slightly wondering why you - a non-smoker- were buying cigarettes? Gone are those days now, if you were to attend a large confenrence today on any of the new economy sectors, you would find that women lead the pack of smokers during breaks... and what more in most cities you can see women smoking in restaurants, pubs and other places. if that is not progress, I wonder what it...
But of course, there is always a twist to my tales.... and in case of women's smoking habits and sartorial tastes, I have two stories to narrate from rural India which so far as women empowerment goes, has been the trend setter since times immemorial.
The first story was told to me by my sociology teacher Dr Particia Oberoi an Australian national who had moved to India at a very young age marrying Prof Oberoi. When Pat moved to India in the early 60s folks back home warned her that she would not get any skirts in India and she should pack as many of those as possible. On reaching India on her first visit to rural Rajasthan she found much to her shock and pleasure, that women in those parts of India wore only skirts and very pretty ones at that....
The second story is from small town Bihar where I spent my childhood. My friend, all of 11 years used to frequently buy bidis and we knew he was not a smoker. He used to buy it for his own and our neighbourhood chachi [who was completely illiterate but married to to the Principal of the local college and the President of the District Congress Committee, th emuch educated, modern and revered Prof Singh...
Didn't I tell you earlier more things change more they remain the same

Bad Animals and Worse Humans

Sunderbans [the largest mangrove forest in the world: [12 March 2007] Home to the Royal Bengal Tiger and the Ferocious Crocodile
A Conversation Between A Tiger and a Crocodile:
Tiger How Many today?
Croc: Bad day mate only two
T: At this rate we shall never be able to cull them and free our habitat
C: How many did you cull today?
T: maimed and dead combine 15
C: That's a good day's work
T: Yeah I guess only you and I can do it here, others are all useless, you see they are vegetarians and generally do not kill or destroy something they do not eat.
C: Yeah that fat ass elephant refused to kill any humans saying that that was not his job and in any case he had not taste for human meat
T: Mate that is why we will never be able to score over humans, we are too logical
C: But look at the speed with which the buggers are breeding and encroaching on our property and getting aggressive and killing us
T: Mate it is a losing battle
C: Seems like only option for us is to behave like our friends the dogs and go and settle down in the cities
T: They are really remarkable, look how they have completely changed their habitat, they were once wild animals hunting in packs, now they either adorn and guard rich people's house or have become smart urban foragers
C:Mate I can't beg and eat left overs out of plastic bags
T: Me too, I guess we will have to control our bredding and finally disappear in order to make more and more room for the humans

Bangalore [India's silicon valley and home to large number of ownerles dogs] 12 March 2007
A Conversation between two dogs:
Senior dog to start up dog: Why the hell did you have to kill that child? Dont you know they are harmless?
Guilty Start up Dog: Boss, I said sorry so many times... to so many people
Senior Dog: Sorry does not help anymore my boy, look at what you have brought down on the entire community. you have given us a very bad name and invited the wrath of the most ferocious and intellectually superior animal in this planet.
Guilty Start Up dog: But even the baby's father said on TV that it was not my fault it, I am after all a dog he said and would get attracted to offals thrown out of illegal meat shops
Senior Dog: My boy, you are too young to know that rationality is the first victim when human bengs are hit by a situation, they are not like us... Now run and try to save your life as I would mine...
New Delhi [capital of India and home to many ex-celebrities looking for a cause to support] 12 March
Monologues of a Celebrity:
They have killed them like butchers, 1,500 of them, the local authorities are acting like Hitler and this will only acentuate the menace dogs will grow more feral and bite more people the best way is to make them incapable of breeding en masse, and kill the sick ones...
Mumbai 13 March 2007 [Richest city of India and home to a large number of stray animals and humans and also lovers of such strays]
Observations of an Idiot
Worli: No stray dogs and no mosquitoes.... Clean roads, proper garbage disposal systems, automatic control on breeding of strays.... Some cats in and around societies...
Andheri east: dirty roads, garbage on roads, overcrowding, full of stray dogs, stray people and mosquitoes... right envoronment for breeding... more dogs more sympathies... more food and more dogs....
Conclusion: Controlling dogs is really in human hands
Thoughts of an Idiot
Of course protecting habitats of tiger and croc are also in human hands, all they need to do is to control breed[ing] and greed...
Why can not we achieve both especially since both are apparently in our hands?

Tea and RedBull

There is a smallish railway junction near Kolkata called Naihati.. It is now a junction for suburban trains. But before partition it used to be on a trunk route to north bengal and assam through what is now bangladesh.. and it was this route which many of the wretched "coolies" took to reach the assam planations from the bridgehead of Brahmaputra. But I digress.

In Naihati station there is [still is] a tea stall as ancient as A H Wheeler books stalls which was licensed to be opened at least 70-80 years back. That tea stall has a large signboard in bengali which lists out "The Benefits of Drinking Tea" a) It stimulates the body b) It gives energy c) It is healthy d) It energises the mind

Those were early days of tea marketing in India [most of the tea before the second world war was for the export market] and simple marketing techniques worked on simple folks and the result is for all of us to see... bengalis at least have become prolific tea drinkers in the last 70-80 years and even today coffee is considered to be a treat in most of bengal to be had only on special occasions in the winter [I am discounting the consumption pattern of the Coffee House type Calcuttans here!]

That was way back in the past. Today, I had the pleasure of having a lovely thali lunch at a small restaurant in Worli quite literally at the heart of capitalist Mumbai and while I was savouring my rasam, an odd laminated poster drew my attention... Coloured in Blue and Red it was a RedBull advertisement, and guess what it said? Yes you are right... Alomost word for word it was same as the Tea advertisement I mentioned about... If you do not believe me you must pay a visit to Kalpana at Worli Naka and have a look for yourself:)

Is it true then that more things change more they remain the same?

By the way, in case you have missed it... Tea is marketed by the tea board now as a happening drink... teak drinkers are supposed to be smart, quick witted and fleetfooted... not stuffed shirts like the coffee drinkers... So choose your drink carefully

Shall We Dance

If you have seen this movie [it is very watchable starring Richard Gere, Susan Sarandon and Jennifer Lopez] you would not have missed out on the character played by Stanley Tucci... A bald and non-similing lawyer by the day and a dressed up dancer with a fancy wig and a set of false teeth by the night.... The highlight of Tucci's makeover which he explains at length to Gere is a set of false teeth which is sparkling white and which is permanently held in the grin mode... Of course both come out at the end with much sadness and laughter revealing the real man...

Something similar has been happening to corporate India in the last theree years... the false grin on Budget days has been accentuated by a fancy flase wig of "affirmative action in the form of training underprivileged people and bringing them up to scratch"; to forsetall a veiled threat by the government to bring in affirmative action [read job quota] through legislation....

After the Budget this year the false teeth is out: Following a non-exciting budget from the industry perspective, directives have been sent out by some ministries to select sectors to the effect the the propsed tax hikes should be absorbed by these sectors and not passed on to users thereby initiating a cascading effect on prices... the sectors interestingly are steel and cement - basic commodities for the booming construction and auto sectors....

The wig too is at the verge of being pulled off: One active ministry has sent a directive to large industry associations stating that proposals for affirmative action submitted by them are not enough and are too slow moving... adding that all their members need to state in their annual reports what affirmative action they have taken [read how many underprivileged have been emploed by them in course of the year]

Now that the grin and the wig are out, will we see the real dance of India Inc? I wish we do not have to say "only time will tell" on this one....