Delhi Trafiic and Tata Salt

I just heard that the Delhi Police has launched an ambitious plan to ensure "free" flowing traffic all across the city well before the Commonwealth Games. Taking a cue from the old Tata Salt advertisement of free flowing salt, it has declared that well before the commonwealth games the traffic is Delhi will be flowing freely all across the city. On being contacted by yours truly the joint commissioner traffic patiently described the whole plan.
According to the JC {T}, just a humongous task can not be carried out by the police force alone, therfore the the Delhi Police for the first time has entered into MoUs with other Departments and like-minded agencies to partner. The first to sign was the Delhi Metro Rail Corporation and its chief vendor Gammon India. DMRC and Gammon being full of thoughtful people like engineers and MBAs have applied the Pareto principle to the issue [they learnt it it simply as the 80:20 rule]. They have agreed that they will take care of 20% of the city that controls 80 per cent of the traffic. Accordingly, they have blocked the main arterial roads and crossings across South Delhi with men and material and barricades and also caused a major accident on a critical road connecting Moolchand to Nehru Place. With astounding results.... traffic flows in all directions at the same time giving a new twist to the constitutional freedom "to travel freely in any part of the country". The DMRC spokesperson has assured that they would continue along similar lines for many years to come. Delhi Police JC {T} was happy at the way the partnership with DMRC was working out. The Municipal Commission of Delhi, not to be left behind, has joined hands and has made it clear that they too have a few tricks up their sleeves to make sure that the Delhi traffic continues to flow "freely". Asked to elaborate, the MCD Commissioner indulgently mentioned that the plan had been in place for years and comprised the following:
1. Allow pavements to be taken over by shopkeepers [unfortunately there are very few pavement dwellers in Delhi]
2. Give a free hand to civil contractors by never focing them to clean up after themselves and allowing them to pile up materials on the roads
3. Plan to build several flyovers and never complete them
4. Pass on advance information on road construction to telecom operators and Delhi Jal Board so that as soon as road are re-laid they can start digging.
The Commissioner looked surpised that your correspondent did not know these rules, especially since they had been a great success since the days of the Asian Games in 1982.
The JC {T} generously praised the MCD for its insight and the value it brought to the partnerships and criticised the New Delhi Municipal Corporation [NDMC] for its refusal to participate in the partnership faced with political pressure. A thoughtful NDMC Commissioner explained that all the politicians and bureaucrats lived in NDMC area and would never allow such "freedom", true to their ilk.
The most effective step to ensure free flow of traffic has however been taken by the lead partner Delhi Police. Taking a leaf out of the seminal work by Levitt and Dubner - Superfreakononmics, the JC{T} suggested that the solution to all complicated problems are really very simple. We have made sure that the traffic flows "freely" throughout the city by simply putting the traffic lights out of use. We have so far covered about 50 per cent of the city's traffic lights and we are sure that we will achieve 100% success with the traffic lights well before the commonwealth games.
Your correspondent also learnt from reliable sources that Delhi drivers true to their character have taken to this new approach like fish to water and are immensely enjoying their new found "freedom"... one of them, a recent arrival in the city from Jhajjhar {haryana}, quoted an ancient authority "the city air makes you free".

Poor, Their Lordships

For sometime now the RTI wallahs and the newspaper wallahs have been hell-bent upon forcing their lordships the High COurt and Supreme Court justices to reveal their assets - much like old directors harangue starlets to reveal their assets on screen.
After months of haranguing and harrassing their Lordships decided to give in. Perhaps not under pressure from the press or the RTI walas but under pressure from their own ilks. Once again it was the relatively new comers to the business, in this case newcomers to the high courts, who started this trend; exactly like in the movie business where the new comers are more eager to reveal their assets. It started with a smaller and newer lord in the karnataka high court folowed by another smaller lord at Chennai high court and then gradually the all their lordships decided to join the bandwagon. It was much like the movie indsutry where a relatively newcomer like Bipasa Basu starts revealing assets and everyone up the value chain right up to the top Madhuri Dixit [the then equivalent of the Chief Justice) has to reveal.
Oh what fun has it been to watch the terriers snap at the heels of their lordships forcing them to relent. But did something come out of it? Unlike in the movies, unfortunately nothing came out of it. As in much else that happens in India, it was like making a molehill out of a mountain... or its more apt hindi version Khoda Pahar Nikli Chuhiya.... Their lordships revealed that they had no assets worth revealing. The richest of them was worth around 40-50 lakhs slightly worse off than a shopkeeper in Sarojini Nagar.
It now transpires that their Lordships did not want to reveal their assets in the first place NOT because they wanted to hide their wealth, but because they wanted to hide their poverty. I think that is a fundamental right of all Indians and we should not deprive Lordships from that right.