In the Line of Duty

It is often said in not very loud tones that civil servants in India are neither civil nor servants but uncivil masters. But I had seen a remarkably civil but very effective civil servant albeit a very minor one in the form of a Train Ticket Examiner while commuting in a suburban train in Kolkata. Naihati is a quaint little junction forty kilometres from Sealdah [one of the railway terminals in Kolkata] and the suburban trains usually stop there for a couple of minutes more than the usual start and stop formula in other stations. I was travelling back to my place from Kolkata in a local train and as soon as the train stopped at Naihati a very serious and scholarly looking man in think blackframmed specs and the mandatory black coat boarded the train. There was no doubt that he was upto checking tickets. Little did I know that he was not the usual bribe taking, conniving ticket checker. Nor did I know then that he was not foolish enough to arrest and fine ticketless travellers [ticketless passengers in Kolkata are often violent]. Nonetheless, he carried on his duty in the most unobtrusive but effective way. He placed himself in the middle of the compartment and announced loudly in Bangla "Those who do not have tickets please stand up and allow those with tickets to sit on the seats". Believe you me, there were people who stood up and people who took those vacant seats. By the time I realised what happened, he had moved on to the next compartment. Later I gathered from the murmur around that the man and his style were well known to the regular passengers.
I also gathered that the passengers in this instnace were lucky. For there was another ticket examiner at Naihati who chased ticketless travellers like a mad dog. He was reputed to have jumped the overbridge stairs in order to catch ticketless travellers and broken his limbs a couple of times.
If you think these civil servants were weirdos.... please note that that in the four years that I was in Kolkata and occassionally took local trains to the suburbs, three ticket checkers were pushed out of speeding local trains and two of them had died.
PS: Naihati's claim to fame of course if that it is the birthplace of Bankim Chandra Chatterjee

Murder: A Middle Class Vocation Now

Once upon a time, crimes including murder were committed by criminals whose business it was to commit crimes. These crimes were reported in newspapers as a matter of routine much as terrorist attacks in Jammu and Kashmir are reported now. Then came a time when crimes like murders started to be committed by those connected with the film industry, crime especially murder dope and women related graduated to the third page of newspapers. Then crime came to the front page and prime time when politicians' sons and relatives were allegedly involved in it..... Crimes especially murders especially of young women became headlines. Headline stuff built it's own ecology of experts, retired cops whose own career recods were pretty shoddy commented on those who had not retired, security company chiefs whose primary jobs was to recruit poor biharis, clad them in stinking and dirty uniforms and make them secutiry guards started analysing crimes on TV, media persons used to copying and pasting press releases became crime investigators, even the ordinary citizens not only consumed crime reported in the media but were active as commentators and so called eye witnesses.

Finally, like everything else in this country crime became very middle class.... it was your neighbour or your friends neighbour..... These were neither famous criminals who were adding feathers to their caps, nor famous politicians nor were they famous people connected with movies. These were ordinary middle class people who became famous only because of the crime they committed and lives and families they destroyed including sometimes their own.

The police long used to the justification that if criminals are killing criminals [gangsters killing gangsters; corrupt politicians killing corrupt women; shady film producers being killed by shady music directors!] they have nothing to do but sit and watch, soon forgot about crime detection and investigation. But now that crime has become middle class they are finding it difficult to get back to good old investigtion...... a generation of police has no clue about investigation. It is like my doctor friend who when asked about the functions of the left ventricle in a medical interview told the interviewer "Sir questions related to heart were asked last year so this year I have studied only kidney and can answer questions only about kidney".... If you don't get my drift....... try jumping signal in NOIDA, you will not be able to do it without paying bribe, the policemen are so efficient..... But kill someone, it is likely that you will get scott free.....

Over Rated

Just thought of some of the people and things that are overated in India tody:
People:
Manmohan Singh's honesty
L K Advni's flexibility
Lalu Prasad's Intelligence
Sachin Tendulkar's batting capabilities
Shah Rukh Khan's Chrisma
Amitabh Bachchan's crimes
Salman Rushdie and V S Naipaul's writings
Vijay Mallay's business sense
Objects:
Handicrafts
Nike and RBK shoes
Value of advertisements
Contirnbution of technology
Capability of government
Global warming
Knowledge economy
Please feel free to add your own and enrich my list.

Bermuda Triangle and BRT

To the generation born with mobile phones and iPods Bermuda Triangle may sound like the latest brand of men's underwear from California. But to the wiser generation it would still inspire curiosity if not awe. But then it is a myth from a different era which also believed in the insane writings and findings of Eric Von Daniken. Bermuda Triangle was a trinagular rea in the atalantic off the cost of southern US where airplanes and ships regualrly disappeared since the second world war. In the 60s there was much myth and speculation surrounding this spot of Ocean and the stories around BT [Bermuda Triangle] were still still popular in 1982 when I was in class 9. it was on a fateful day with much excitement and apprehension that we asked Father Steno who taught us Geogrphy about the reality behind BT. Father Steno, a Maltese by birth and member of society of jesus by choice and a evacuee from Malta during the second world war by compulsion, was exceptionally short and exceptionally bright and exceptionally a man of few words. It was said of him that if you presented a Boeing to him, gave him a manual and a couple of hours, he would safely start flying it. In any event, in his normal conduct with us he showed very few jesuit like qualities.
It was to this man that we asked what we thought was the most important and intelligent question in Geography at that time:
Father what is the reality behind the Bermuda Triangle? Father Steno, who was then teaching us the intricacies of of south west monsoon, looked up in momentrary surprise and then seemed interested in answering the questions. Took off his glasses, ran a hand on his goatee and gave us that rarest smile between a smirk and a grunt.... and then gave the following answer in his heavily accented English: "Hah, Bermuda Traingle? Take any imaginery triangle of equal size in any part of any ocean and if you look hard you will find equal number of stories surrounging missing airplanes, ships and may be a few mermaids" That was the end of our romantic attachment with BT and Eric von Daniken!
When I read in newspapers about the daily jams, accidents and pain that the newly constructed BRT is causing to Delhi residents, I am reminded to father Steno's words.... "Take any imaginery 5.8 kilometres stretch on any Delhi road and you will find an equal number of jams, accidents and pain....

PS: The photo is the most imaginative representation of Bermuda Triangle myth I found on the internet....