Pubs and Women

With the tragedy of the pub issue in Bangalore quickly turning into a farce with a) presentation of pink chuddy b) case against minister and c) defamation suit against chaddi party, I thought it would be appropriate to share my perspective on pubs and women and make enemies of two things I love most Women and Indian Culture.
But first a clarification: a) Pub here is stricly a pub short for a public house. Not a lounge bar we know why people go there, certainly not to drink; NOR a restaurant which also serve booze; we also know why people go there and certainly not to drink. A public house is a place orginally in UK where the public went to drink [sofas and food were incidental]. These were known as bars in the US [given the wild nature of the locals, bars had to be put at the serving counters, much like what we had in Delhi till recently].
Now the big question" "Should women go to pubs?" [strictly as defined above] and the answer is NO. especially in India. For the following reasons [mainly]
1. Women usually do not drink more than a pint or two
2. Pub is not the best place to have fruit jiuce and blue curacao and various ohter virgin drinks.
3. Even when drunk women do not usually make a fool of themselves by shouting, abusing and quarrelling.
4. They listen and note conversation to be used later rather than particiapte in it. Believe me in real pub there are no listeners only talkers except the barman.
5. They do not puke in the loo, force and abuse others to let them drive after drinking and do not indulge in any other activities that are usually called post pub syndromes.
6. Finally, in male company they never pay [resonably so since they do not drink, or do not drink so much not do they participate except as passive agents]
So what is the point in going to a pub? More relevantly what is the point in taking women to a pub [as defined above]
Disclaimer: This is not an open invitation to persons of either sex to join me at the nearest bar in my next visit.

Bad Animals and Worse Humans

Sunderbans [the largest mangrove forest in the world: [12 March 2007] Home to the Royal Bengal Tiger and the Ferocious Crocodile
A Conversation Between A Tiger and a Crocodile:
Tiger How Many today?
Croc: Bad day mate only two
T: At this rate we shall never be able to cull them and free our habitat
C: How many did you cull today?
T: maimed and dead combine 15
C: That's a good day's work
T: Yeah I guess only you and I can do it here, others are all useless, you see they are vegetarians and generally do not kill or destroy something they do not eat.
C: Yeah that fat ass elephant refused to kill any humans saying that that was not his job and in any case he had not taste for human meat
T: Mate that is why we will never be able to score over humans, we are too logical
C: But look at the speed with which the buggers are breeding and encroaching on our property and getting aggressive and killing us
T: Mate it is a losing battle
C: Seems like only option for us is to behave like our friends the dogs and go and settle down in the cities
T: They are really remarkable, look how they have completely changed their habitat, they were once wild animals hunting in packs, now they either adorn and guard rich people's house or have become smart urban foragers
C:Mate I can't beg and eat left overs out of plastic bags
T: Me too, I guess we will have to control our bredding and finally disappear in order to make more and more room for the humans

Bangalore [India's silicon valley and home to large number of ownerles dogs] 12 March 2007
A Conversation between two dogs:
Senior dog to start up dog: Why the hell did you have to kill that child? Dont you know they are harmless?
Guilty Start up Dog: Boss, I said sorry so many times... to so many people
Senior Dog: Sorry does not help anymore my boy, look at what you have brought down on the entire community. you have given us a very bad name and invited the wrath of the most ferocious and intellectually superior animal in this planet.
Guilty Start Up dog: But even the baby's father said on TV that it was not my fault it, I am after all a dog he said and would get attracted to offals thrown out of illegal meat shops
Senior Dog: My boy, you are too young to know that rationality is the first victim when human bengs are hit by a situation, they are not like us... Now run and try to save your life as I would mine...
New Delhi [capital of India and home to many ex-celebrities looking for a cause to support] 12 March
Monologues of a Celebrity:
They have killed them like butchers, 1,500 of them, the local authorities are acting like Hitler and this will only acentuate the menace dogs will grow more feral and bite more people the best way is to make them incapable of breeding en masse, and kill the sick ones...
Mumbai 13 March 2007 [Richest city of India and home to a large number of stray animals and humans and also lovers of such strays]
Observations of an Idiot
Worli: No stray dogs and no mosquitoes.... Clean roads, proper garbage disposal systems, automatic control on breeding of strays.... Some cats in and around societies...
Andheri east: dirty roads, garbage on roads, overcrowding, full of stray dogs, stray people and mosquitoes... right envoronment for breeding... more dogs more sympathies... more food and more dogs....
Conclusion: Controlling dogs is really in human hands
Thoughts of an Idiot
Of course protecting habitats of tiger and croc are also in human hands, all they need to do is to control breed[ing] and greed...
Why can not we achieve both especially since both are apparently in our hands?