Chain Letter

BILLY CONNOLLY'S CHAIN LETTER
Hello, my name is Billy and I suffer from guilt for not forwarding 50 billion fucking chain letters sent to me by people who actually believe if you send them on, a poor six year old girl in Scotland with a breast on her forehead will be able to raise enough money to have it removed before her redneck parents sell her to a travelling freak show. And, do you honestly believe that Bill Gates is going to give you, and everyone to whom you send "his" email, $1000?
How stupid are we?
Ooooh, looky here! If I scroll down this page and make a wish, I'll get laid by a model I just happen to run into the next day! What a bunch of bullshit.
Maybe the evil chain letter leprechauns will come into my house and sodomize me in my sleep for not continuing a chain letter that was started by St Peter in 5AD and brought to this country by midget pilgrim stowaways on the Endeavour.
Fuck 'em!!
If you're going to forward something, at least send me something mildly amusing. I've seen all the "send this to 10 of your closest friends, and this poor, wretched excuse for a human being will somehow receive a nickel from some omniscient being" forwards about 90 times.
I don't fucking care.
Show a little intelligence and think about what you're actually contributing to by sending out these forwards. Chances are, it's our own unpopularity.
The point being?
If you get some chain letter that's threatening to leave you shagless or luckless for the rest of your life, delete it. If it's funny, send it on. Don't piss people off by making them feel guilty about a leper in Botswana with no teeth who has been tied to the arse of a dead elephant for 27 years and whose only salvation is the 5 cents per letter he'll receive if you forward this email. Now forward this to everyone you know. Otherwise, tomorrow morning your underwear will turn carnivorous and will consume your genitals.
Have a nice day.
Billy Connolly
P.S: Send me 15 bucks and then fuck off

Our Intellectuals Their Intellectuals

Oh what a drama is being played out in the media [now mainly print because there is nothing to "show" only to write about] over the plight or flight [depends on your political outlook] of Taslima Nasreen in/from Kolkata. Reads alomost like one of those Alistair McLean stories from my childhood.... whisked away in the middle of the night to one place across the coutry by plane, driven to an unknown destination in the morning, hidden in an unknown Delhi suburb and then disappearing to an unknown place near Delhi airport.... Reminds me of a McLean novel "Puppet on a Chain" set in the Netherlands and about a man's fight against drug lords...... Woooof.. leaves you almost breathless... But then if you have been reading more than one newspaper and watching more than one channel you would know that she went from Kolkata to Jaipur to Gurgaon and was then taken to the SPG special "guest house" near Delhi airport. Nothing hidden about it.. she has also been given Y category security which means she would have around 11 officers to protect her.... One would think Osman Bin Laden's men were after her. But as a matter of fact and unless the security and IB knows more there was not personal attack on her in Kolkata and what happened in Hyderabad was no terrorost attack either, most radical intellectuals and student politicians face that in College canteens in their youthful days.... There has so far been no court order to arrest her or Fatwa from a recognised outfit in India...

Now turn to four cases, my favourites......
1. Our iconic painter [not withstanding the some of us are jealous that he is still able to attract Ms Dixit at his age], where is he? he wants to come back to India and live here, why can't he?
2. Our intellectual par excellance [not withstanding the fact he he can still serially attract women quarter his age]... why isn't he allowed to visit India?
3. Our youung and radical teacher at Baroda university... what happened to his job
4. Last but not the least... our iconic protestor of social evils, from the banks of Narmada to Nandigram... she was physically assaulted several times in her life... In Nandigram police actually stood and watched her beaten up.....

Do we have double standards for our world class intellectuals and third rate trash authors from Bangladesh? Have we lost our collective minds...

Delhi Leads Road Accidents

My last post has been vindicated... The figures of road accidents were out two days back in the Times of India. Accordingly, based on the 2005 figures Delhi topped the list of fatal road accidents with over 1,700 deaths. The numbers in 2007 must be considerably more in 2007 and Blue Lines have claused only 106 of these deaths... Isn't it time that we plugged the others who kill on the roads rather than whip the bad blue bus drivers...
Think about it...

Blue Line and Red Eyes

Deli newspapers are ever ready to show red eyes to the Blue line bus services in Delhi and not without reason. The blue line bus services in Delhi which comprises all of public transport buses are almost like "Devil in the Blue Dress".... Between January and November this year the number of deaths caused by these buses is 106... 106 families have been shattered by these buses in less than a year. The government apparently has tried every trick to discipline these rogues... from insisting that the drivers wear uniforms, to speed monitors to automatic doors to lane driving. In fact this time I noticed that every major bus stop had a Marshall who was directing the blue line buses to stop at the right spot and not overtake... But these measures have not stopped fatal accidents as the records kept by newspapers in Delhi would show.

I am no fan of blue line buses and really do not care if they are there or not in as much as I do not care about Delhi autos, taxis call centre cabs and such likes which make Delhi roads like the jungles of sunderbans where the only operating principle is "might is right".

But I am amazed that a trasport which would end up killing 200 people in Delhi is being so horribly badmouthed by the media to the extent that every week teh delhi high court regularly enquires of the Delhi government as to when these services are going to be withdrawn.

Do not get me wrong, I am not heartless, but at 200 a year they do not even deserve mention in the annals of road accidents in Delhi where if I am not far off the mark over 1000 people die in road accidents every year... It would seem that bluelines are getting 100 per cent flak for 10 per cent of crime.. I would like to ask our friends in the media what is being done to save the lives o other 900 people who are not victims of blueline buses? Here are some other culprits:
1. Call centre drivers [you can ask anyone who drives to Gurgaon eveyday what they are scared of most, all of they would say call centre cars... Their record at killing and maiming is much much better than blue lines
2. Drunken and Rash driving... Culprits and victims are mostly young people with rich parents and big cars... what is being done to punish the parents of such youngsters?
3. MCD and NDMC: pathetic road signs, signals covered with trees, no signage at construction sites, no cleaning up after construction... and so many others.... cows on roads
4. Bikers, Cyclists and Jaywalkers: First category should know that Delhi roads are not for stunt practicces, the second should know that the inside lane is for fast vehicles not for cycles, and the third category should know that in cities roads are mainly meant for vechicles not for walking and crossing whereever you wish to

Till such time as we distribute the onus equally among other "stakeholders" let us at least be fair to blue lines and whenever you publish their score card please mention it as a part of total road deaths so that we can understand their responsibility in the right perspective. Thus: January to November 2007 Total Roaddeaths in Delhi 1000, total killed by Bluelines 106..... This will help up look at roaddeaths as well as blueline from a fresh perspective.

Disclaimer: I or any of my relatives to not own, operate or use any blueline services.