As an avid watcher [and only a wacther] of AXN and other similar channels which highlight the acts of bravado that "others" perform on screen such as bungee jumping, skydiving, rock climbing, fighting with crocodiles, participating in reality shows where spiders are showered on you or you are asked to eat crocodile eggs or kiss a crocodile on the lips; I have always wondered are we Indians a nation of cowards? are we incapble of such acts of gross and raw bravery? It would apparently seem so, since not one of these shows ever features an Indian. On the other hand from American Idol to all sorts of "gambling" and guessing sort of programmes you would see a fair number of Indians participating.
I thought about it long and hard and was just about to get depressed when the idea stuck. Why do you have to display overt acts of bravado in front of a camera or in an attempt at self fulfilment when your day to day living itself is so dangerous? Irresepective of caste, colur creed or sex all indians live dangerously and on the edge. You don't believe me? Read on:
Farmer: fear of crop failure, non- repayment of loans, expenses on marriage and death, floods, caste and revenge killings
Rich Farmer: Fear of dacoity, retaliation, kidnap of children
urban poor: fear of death by contamination, death due to misdiagnosis, death due to illicit liquor, death due to train, bus accident; fear of employer, fear of unemployment
urban middle class: Fear of EMI, Fear of crowded skies, Fear of being banged by a truck on the road, fear of children being kidnapped to raped; fear of losing jobs, fear of lack of balance between home and office, fear of aspirations not being met.
Business man: Fear of new taxes, fear of collapse of stockmarkets, fear of sealing, fear of kidnap, fear of raids,
Bureaucrats: Fear of RTI, fear of being shunted, fear of being bypassed for promotion
Industrialist: Fear of workers, fear of government rules, fear of FERA, FEMA and many others, fear of hostile takeovers
Politicians: Fear of losing elections and retaliation, fear of immigration authorities, fear of tehelka
We have to overcome so many fears each day just in order to live on to the next that we find acts of bravado done for TV shows or for self-fulfillment pretty gross and pompous.
What do you say?
Monday, May 14, 2007
Tuesday, May 08, 2007
Globalised Names
Much before Indian economy became globalised and Indian women started wearing hipsters, Indian parents in order to make their children more competitive and hip and cool have been giving "global" names to their children. So in Punjab you had Tony, Vicky, Lucky and Bobby, In Kerala you had a Dolly Nair and in rest of India you had anything in between.
Bengalis have been very serious about names and for at least the last 70 years preferred secular names. My late father had the fancy and short name of Subrata, he was born in early 1930s. I think Bengalis did away with mythic and religious names long time back and became serious about names. A case in the point is the full version of my own name:) It is little wonder therefore, in globalised names too, Bengalis have been thought leaders. I knew someone in Calcutta who was named Monami Mitra [From the french mon ami] In the Calcutta of 1960s you could find many a woman named Lucy [not to be confused with the bengali Luchi]; and a class mate of mine was called Happy Ghosh. I do not think any other region can beat that.
My pride in Bengali names lasted for nearly as long as I have lived and increased until last week. It happened on a Saturday when I was working alone in my office with the front door of the office open and unattended. On hearing footsteps and rightly suspecting that it might be a bunch of salespersons I got up to get out my room and to confront them. I am usually very poilte but firm with such pushy salespersons but that day I was in a foul mood and decided to be very rude and nasty. In fact when I left my chair I was already gnashing my teeth. By the time I entered reached the door of my room to get into the hall from where the footsteps were coming, two young salespersons were alredy pushing open my cabin door. At which my determination to get rude became even firmer.
Finally, I managed to open the door first and before I could open my mouth, a young man, very fair and with locks that must have killed a hundred girls spoke up " Sir I am from Hutch and my name is Romeo Khan". I do not know what happened to me, suddenly instead of shouting at the guy and being rude I burst out into incessant peels of laughter.... The only thing I remembered while laughing was why didn't the guys parents name him Majnu Khan, why Romeo? By the time I had finished laughing Romeo Khan and his female colleague had left my office. Probably taking me to be insane. While I resumed work after that hysterical bout of laughter, I remembered you can not be more rude to a person than laughing at his name.
I also realised sadly that the best global names in India did not come out of Bengali households anymore.....
Jai Bharat
Bengalis have been very serious about names and for at least the last 70 years preferred secular names. My late father had the fancy and short name of Subrata, he was born in early 1930s. I think Bengalis did away with mythic and religious names long time back and became serious about names. A case in the point is the full version of my own name:) It is little wonder therefore, in globalised names too, Bengalis have been thought leaders. I knew someone in Calcutta who was named Monami Mitra [From the french mon ami] In the Calcutta of 1960s you could find many a woman named Lucy [not to be confused with the bengali Luchi]; and a class mate of mine was called Happy Ghosh. I do not think any other region can beat that.
My pride in Bengali names lasted for nearly as long as I have lived and increased until last week. It happened on a Saturday when I was working alone in my office with the front door of the office open and unattended. On hearing footsteps and rightly suspecting that it might be a bunch of salespersons I got up to get out my room and to confront them. I am usually very poilte but firm with such pushy salespersons but that day I was in a foul mood and decided to be very rude and nasty. In fact when I left my chair I was already gnashing my teeth. By the time I entered reached the door of my room to get into the hall from where the footsteps were coming, two young salespersons were alredy pushing open my cabin door. At which my determination to get rude became even firmer.
Finally, I managed to open the door first and before I could open my mouth, a young man, very fair and with locks that must have killed a hundred girls spoke up " Sir I am from Hutch and my name is Romeo Khan". I do not know what happened to me, suddenly instead of shouting at the guy and being rude I burst out into incessant peels of laughter.... The only thing I remembered while laughing was why didn't the guys parents name him Majnu Khan, why Romeo? By the time I had finished laughing Romeo Khan and his female colleague had left my office. Probably taking me to be insane. While I resumed work after that hysterical bout of laughter, I remembered you can not be more rude to a person than laughing at his name.
I also realised sadly that the best global names in India did not come out of Bengali households anymore.....
Jai Bharat
Monday, May 07, 2007
Zombie Banks
If you do not know what that term means, you can either call up an economist friend or forget about it, it does not really matter. Simply, put a public sector bank becomes zombie when the government is ready to put just enough money for it to survive and not enough for it to thrive and grow in a liberablised environment. The term was used by Percy Mistry who chaired a committee to prepare a report on how to make Mumbai a financial hub [not clear financial hub of world, india or maharashtra, I guess it must be the world since all of us are thinking global nowadays]
The excerpts of the report that I have read with a layman's perspective has lead me to the conclusion that in order to make mumbai a financial hub the enitre country or at least the entire financial policy and structure have to change. Hah hah!
However, this entry is not about making mumbai hub of high finance, but about a so called zombie bank and my experiences with it. When I enter the bank at 10 am every one seems to be awake and there are actual people in the counters, who talk to you, sort out your problems and very often know you and your last transaction. From opening to a locker to closing an account can be done absolutely fast. You sometimes also get a cup of tea while you are waiting to be served. This does not look zombie to me at all. Most important people in the counters do not change every week and they do not forget the commitments they make to you for the next week.
Compare this with a non-zombie bank which is more in news for floating ADRs and aspiring to become the largest bank in India and aiming to lead the charge if Mumbai ever becomes an international financial hub... It took me two months to convert an account to a joint account since every week the person behind the counter changed and each time I went back the person had no idea about my application form and supporting documents. Nothing is issued from the branch, you would have to wait for everything to come from "mumbai service centre"; cheques are home delivered, except that the couriers have strict indstructions to give it to the person whose name they are in [you are expected to wait at home because the couriers choose to come only in the afternoons or soon after you have left for office]. Even if you have an account with them they will not endorse your address. All these and much more in the name of "your own security". I feel proud that at least in my bank I have Z category security, makes me feel like Jyoti Basu. But does it really make my banking better. Not at all. Of course, a new feature has been added recently to help me serve better, I have to take a queue number even to queue up......
I think I would prefer zombie banks any day. What would you prefer?
The excerpts of the report that I have read with a layman's perspective has lead me to the conclusion that in order to make mumbai a financial hub the enitre country or at least the entire financial policy and structure have to change. Hah hah!
However, this entry is not about making mumbai hub of high finance, but about a so called zombie bank and my experiences with it. When I enter the bank at 10 am every one seems to be awake and there are actual people in the counters, who talk to you, sort out your problems and very often know you and your last transaction. From opening to a locker to closing an account can be done absolutely fast. You sometimes also get a cup of tea while you are waiting to be served. This does not look zombie to me at all. Most important people in the counters do not change every week and they do not forget the commitments they make to you for the next week.
Compare this with a non-zombie bank which is more in news for floating ADRs and aspiring to become the largest bank in India and aiming to lead the charge if Mumbai ever becomes an international financial hub... It took me two months to convert an account to a joint account since every week the person behind the counter changed and each time I went back the person had no idea about my application form and supporting documents. Nothing is issued from the branch, you would have to wait for everything to come from "mumbai service centre"; cheques are home delivered, except that the couriers have strict indstructions to give it to the person whose name they are in [you are expected to wait at home because the couriers choose to come only in the afternoons or soon after you have left for office]. Even if you have an account with them they will not endorse your address. All these and much more in the name of "your own security". I feel proud that at least in my bank I have Z category security, makes me feel like Jyoti Basu. But does it really make my banking better. Not at all. Of course, a new feature has been added recently to help me serve better, I have to take a queue number even to queue up......
I think I would prefer zombie banks any day. What would you prefer?
Tuesday, May 01, 2007
Hype over Hapoos
Summers in Mumbai are always interesting especially in traffic junctions when the hapoos vendors vie for space with sellers of pirated books, toys and other sundry items. Many of these vendors change vocations and switch to selling hapoos during summer going back to pirated books and cheap toys when the hapoos season is over.
14 years ago when I first visited Mumbai [having spent a considerable amout of my life in backward areas such as Bihar, Kolkata and Delhi] I was curiously amused by the fact that mangoes were sold in card board boxes. I had before that never seen mangoes being sold in cardboard boxes in street corners or at traffic junctions much like some tacky consumer item. I was also shocked by the price [which still continues to shock me, although at 300 Rs a dozen every Mumbai equivalent of Tom, Dick and Harry are lapping it up]. A year later and for many years after that, I regularly saw those cardboard boxes making their leisurely journeys on the numerous carousels at Heathrow Terminal 3, as an essential part of the travelling NRI, most of whom actually carried them to sell them at even more exhorbitant prices in their corner shops. The famous hapoos has now worked its way to the US, of course in much puerer form through irradiation and all that. I am happy for the hapoos. It has been the most internationally recognised mango brand from India and given some time, it will definitely give a run for its money to those large ugly fibrous red and yellow mosters from latin america which pass off as mogoes in the west. At least our friends in the west will know what a real mango is [it is not a sour vegetable most certainly but a sweet seasonal fruit!]. I am happy too for the exporters and the orchard owners who would make a mean buck by exporting the delectable hapoos.
I, however, am of the opinion, that hapoos is a highly overated fruit in India. It is an aspirational fruit and people buy it for snob value. And quite frankly it it overpriced. And more dangerously, it has hegemonised the discourse on mangoes in India - people, at least in western India, do not seem to care for any other mangoes. It is much like the case of Nescafe and Bru which most people in India take to be the real thing which they certainly are not.
While the hoopla over hapoos is killing much of the varietly in western India, I can vouch for north and east Indians that they do not care much about hapoos/alphonso. Ask any self respecting mango lover anywhere between Delhi and Kolkata, they will probably name the famous Langra [literally lame]. In spite of its being of very high quality and dominant in the minds of people up north and east, the poor langra has not killed its lesser cousins the zardalu, safeda, malda, himsagar or the hunk of a mango called fazli. In fact, mango season follows a complicated ritual in these parts. Unlike in Mumbai, you do not start and end the season with Hapoos. it is far more complicated and graduated...
Here is how it goes at least in eastern India... At the first flush of summer say in April you start of with the fazli which is sweetest when unripe and tasteless when ripe, then move on to the tasteless but colourful sindoori which is often sour, but tastes good really since you have not had mangoes for a year. Then the yelllow safedas make their appearance, slightly better tending towards sweeter, then comes the higher quality ones like himsagar, zardalu and the rest and the climax is reached with Langra which comes towards the end of the season. The defining features of a good langra from outside are two and you can not miss them: a) they look exactly like the mangoes that your teacher taught you to draw in school b) they are still green when ripe. The defining feature inside is fibreless, not too soft and exquisitely tasting golden fruit with a very small stone and paper thin skin. Commercially, it is good value for money too. Last season I bought them in Delhi at 35 Rs a kilo [a kilo would take 5 magoes].
But alas, like all good things, the langra season does not last for more than 15 days in the summer and if you are a fan, you have to make the most during that short time. And do not look out for them from March end to September, they are not sold irradiated in cardboard packets, nor do they travel across the globe as accessories of NRIs. They are home made, home grown and are there to tickle your taste buds for 15 days a year only.
14 years ago when I first visited Mumbai [having spent a considerable amout of my life in backward areas such as Bihar, Kolkata and Delhi] I was curiously amused by the fact that mangoes were sold in card board boxes. I had before that never seen mangoes being sold in cardboard boxes in street corners or at traffic junctions much like some tacky consumer item. I was also shocked by the price [which still continues to shock me, although at 300 Rs a dozen every Mumbai equivalent of Tom, Dick and Harry are lapping it up]. A year later and for many years after that, I regularly saw those cardboard boxes making their leisurely journeys on the numerous carousels at Heathrow Terminal 3, as an essential part of the travelling NRI, most of whom actually carried them to sell them at even more exhorbitant prices in their corner shops. The famous hapoos has now worked its way to the US, of course in much puerer form through irradiation and all that. I am happy for the hapoos. It has been the most internationally recognised mango brand from India and given some time, it will definitely give a run for its money to those large ugly fibrous red and yellow mosters from latin america which pass off as mogoes in the west. At least our friends in the west will know what a real mango is [it is not a sour vegetable most certainly but a sweet seasonal fruit!]. I am happy too for the exporters and the orchard owners who would make a mean buck by exporting the delectable hapoos.
I, however, am of the opinion, that hapoos is a highly overated fruit in India. It is an aspirational fruit and people buy it for snob value. And quite frankly it it overpriced. And more dangerously, it has hegemonised the discourse on mangoes in India - people, at least in western India, do not seem to care for any other mangoes. It is much like the case of Nescafe and Bru which most people in India take to be the real thing which they certainly are not.
While the hoopla over hapoos is killing much of the varietly in western India, I can vouch for north and east Indians that they do not care much about hapoos/alphonso. Ask any self respecting mango lover anywhere between Delhi and Kolkata, they will probably name the famous Langra [literally lame]. In spite of its being of very high quality and dominant in the minds of people up north and east, the poor langra has not killed its lesser cousins the zardalu, safeda, malda, himsagar or the hunk of a mango called fazli. In fact, mango season follows a complicated ritual in these parts. Unlike in Mumbai, you do not start and end the season with Hapoos. it is far more complicated and graduated...
Here is how it goes at least in eastern India... At the first flush of summer say in April you start of with the fazli which is sweetest when unripe and tasteless when ripe, then move on to the tasteless but colourful sindoori which is often sour, but tastes good really since you have not had mangoes for a year. Then the yelllow safedas make their appearance, slightly better tending towards sweeter, then comes the higher quality ones like himsagar, zardalu and the rest and the climax is reached with Langra which comes towards the end of the season. The defining features of a good langra from outside are two and you can not miss them: a) they look exactly like the mangoes that your teacher taught you to draw in school b) they are still green when ripe. The defining feature inside is fibreless, not too soft and exquisitely tasting golden fruit with a very small stone and paper thin skin. Commercially, it is good value for money too. Last season I bought them in Delhi at 35 Rs a kilo [a kilo would take 5 magoes].
But alas, like all good things, the langra season does not last for more than 15 days in the summer and if you are a fan, you have to make the most during that short time. And do not look out for them from March end to September, they are not sold irradiated in cardboard packets, nor do they travel across the globe as accessories of NRIs. They are home made, home grown and are there to tickle your taste buds for 15 days a year only.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
