If you do not know what that term means, you can either call up an economist friend or forget about it, it does not really matter. Simply, put a public sector bank becomes zombie when the government is ready to put just enough money for it to survive and not enough for it to thrive and grow in a liberablised environment. The term was used by Percy Mistry who chaired a committee to prepare a report on how to make Mumbai a financial hub [not clear financial hub of world, india or maharashtra, I guess it must be the world since all of us are thinking global nowadays]
The excerpts of the report that I have read with a layman's perspective has lead me to the conclusion that in order to make mumbai a financial hub the enitre country or at least the entire financial policy and structure have to change. Hah hah!
However, this entry is not about making mumbai hub of high finance, but about a so called zombie bank and my experiences with it. When I enter the bank at 10 am every one seems to be awake and there are actual people in the counters, who talk to you, sort out your problems and very often know you and your last transaction. From opening to a locker to closing an account can be done absolutely fast. You sometimes also get a cup of tea while you are waiting to be served. This does not look zombie to me at all. Most important people in the counters do not change every week and they do not forget the commitments they make to you for the next week.
Compare this with a non-zombie bank which is more in news for floating ADRs and aspiring to become the largest bank in India and aiming to lead the charge if Mumbai ever becomes an international financial hub... It took me two months to convert an account to a joint account since every week the person behind the counter changed and each time I went back the person had no idea about my application form and supporting documents. Nothing is issued from the branch, you would have to wait for everything to come from "mumbai service centre"; cheques are home delivered, except that the couriers have strict indstructions to give it to the person whose name they are in [you are expected to wait at home because the couriers choose to come only in the afternoons or soon after you have left for office]. Even if you have an account with them they will not endorse your address. All these and much more in the name of "your own security". I feel proud that at least in my bank I have Z category security, makes me feel like Jyoti Basu. But does it really make my banking better. Not at all. Of course, a new feature has been added recently to help me serve better, I have to take a queue number even to queue up......
I think I would prefer zombie banks any day. What would you prefer?
Monday, May 07, 2007
Tuesday, May 01, 2007
Hype over Hapoos
Summers in Mumbai are always interesting especially in traffic junctions when the hapoos vendors vie for space with sellers of pirated books, toys and other sundry items. Many of these vendors change vocations and switch to selling hapoos during summer going back to pirated books and cheap toys when the hapoos season is over.
14 years ago when I first visited Mumbai [having spent a considerable amout of my life in backward areas such as Bihar, Kolkata and Delhi] I was curiously amused by the fact that mangoes were sold in card board boxes. I had before that never seen mangoes being sold in cardboard boxes in street corners or at traffic junctions much like some tacky consumer item. I was also shocked by the price [which still continues to shock me, although at 300 Rs a dozen every Mumbai equivalent of Tom, Dick and Harry are lapping it up]. A year later and for many years after that, I regularly saw those cardboard boxes making their leisurely journeys on the numerous carousels at Heathrow Terminal 3, as an essential part of the travelling NRI, most of whom actually carried them to sell them at even more exhorbitant prices in their corner shops. The famous hapoos has now worked its way to the US, of course in much puerer form through irradiation and all that. I am happy for the hapoos. It has been the most internationally recognised mango brand from India and given some time, it will definitely give a run for its money to those large ugly fibrous red and yellow mosters from latin america which pass off as mogoes in the west. At least our friends in the west will know what a real mango is [it is not a sour vegetable most certainly but a sweet seasonal fruit!]. I am happy too for the exporters and the orchard owners who would make a mean buck by exporting the delectable hapoos.
I, however, am of the opinion, that hapoos is a highly overated fruit in India. It is an aspirational fruit and people buy it for snob value. And quite frankly it it overpriced. And more dangerously, it has hegemonised the discourse on mangoes in India - people, at least in western India, do not seem to care for any other mangoes. It is much like the case of Nescafe and Bru which most people in India take to be the real thing which they certainly are not.
While the hoopla over hapoos is killing much of the varietly in western India, I can vouch for north and east Indians that they do not care much about hapoos/alphonso. Ask any self respecting mango lover anywhere between Delhi and Kolkata, they will probably name the famous Langra [literally lame]. In spite of its being of very high quality and dominant in the minds of people up north and east, the poor langra has not killed its lesser cousins the zardalu, safeda, malda, himsagar or the hunk of a mango called fazli. In fact, mango season follows a complicated ritual in these parts. Unlike in Mumbai, you do not start and end the season with Hapoos. it is far more complicated and graduated...
Here is how it goes at least in eastern India... At the first flush of summer say in April you start of with the fazli which is sweetest when unripe and tasteless when ripe, then move on to the tasteless but colourful sindoori which is often sour, but tastes good really since you have not had mangoes for a year. Then the yelllow safedas make their appearance, slightly better tending towards sweeter, then comes the higher quality ones like himsagar, zardalu and the rest and the climax is reached with Langra which comes towards the end of the season. The defining features of a good langra from outside are two and you can not miss them: a) they look exactly like the mangoes that your teacher taught you to draw in school b) they are still green when ripe. The defining feature inside is fibreless, not too soft and exquisitely tasting golden fruit with a very small stone and paper thin skin. Commercially, it is good value for money too. Last season I bought them in Delhi at 35 Rs a kilo [a kilo would take 5 magoes].
But alas, like all good things, the langra season does not last for more than 15 days in the summer and if you are a fan, you have to make the most during that short time. And do not look out for them from March end to September, they are not sold irradiated in cardboard packets, nor do they travel across the globe as accessories of NRIs. They are home made, home grown and are there to tickle your taste buds for 15 days a year only.
14 years ago when I first visited Mumbai [having spent a considerable amout of my life in backward areas such as Bihar, Kolkata and Delhi] I was curiously amused by the fact that mangoes were sold in card board boxes. I had before that never seen mangoes being sold in cardboard boxes in street corners or at traffic junctions much like some tacky consumer item. I was also shocked by the price [which still continues to shock me, although at 300 Rs a dozen every Mumbai equivalent of Tom, Dick and Harry are lapping it up]. A year later and for many years after that, I regularly saw those cardboard boxes making their leisurely journeys on the numerous carousels at Heathrow Terminal 3, as an essential part of the travelling NRI, most of whom actually carried them to sell them at even more exhorbitant prices in their corner shops. The famous hapoos has now worked its way to the US, of course in much puerer form through irradiation and all that. I am happy for the hapoos. It has been the most internationally recognised mango brand from India and given some time, it will definitely give a run for its money to those large ugly fibrous red and yellow mosters from latin america which pass off as mogoes in the west. At least our friends in the west will know what a real mango is [it is not a sour vegetable most certainly but a sweet seasonal fruit!]. I am happy too for the exporters and the orchard owners who would make a mean buck by exporting the delectable hapoos.
I, however, am of the opinion, that hapoos is a highly overated fruit in India. It is an aspirational fruit and people buy it for snob value. And quite frankly it it overpriced. And more dangerously, it has hegemonised the discourse on mangoes in India - people, at least in western India, do not seem to care for any other mangoes. It is much like the case of Nescafe and Bru which most people in India take to be the real thing which they certainly are not.
While the hoopla over hapoos is killing much of the varietly in western India, I can vouch for north and east Indians that they do not care much about hapoos/alphonso. Ask any self respecting mango lover anywhere between Delhi and Kolkata, they will probably name the famous Langra [literally lame]. In spite of its being of very high quality and dominant in the minds of people up north and east, the poor langra has not killed its lesser cousins the zardalu, safeda, malda, himsagar or the hunk of a mango called fazli. In fact, mango season follows a complicated ritual in these parts. Unlike in Mumbai, you do not start and end the season with Hapoos. it is far more complicated and graduated...
Here is how it goes at least in eastern India... At the first flush of summer say in April you start of with the fazli which is sweetest when unripe and tasteless when ripe, then move on to the tasteless but colourful sindoori which is often sour, but tastes good really since you have not had mangoes for a year. Then the yelllow safedas make their appearance, slightly better tending towards sweeter, then comes the higher quality ones like himsagar, zardalu and the rest and the climax is reached with Langra which comes towards the end of the season. The defining features of a good langra from outside are two and you can not miss them: a) they look exactly like the mangoes that your teacher taught you to draw in school b) they are still green when ripe. The defining feature inside is fibreless, not too soft and exquisitely tasting golden fruit with a very small stone and paper thin skin. Commercially, it is good value for money too. Last season I bought them in Delhi at 35 Rs a kilo [a kilo would take 5 magoes].
But alas, like all good things, the langra season does not last for more than 15 days in the summer and if you are a fan, you have to make the most during that short time. And do not look out for them from March end to September, they are not sold irradiated in cardboard packets, nor do they travel across the globe as accessories of NRIs. They are home made, home grown and are there to tickle your taste buds for 15 days a year only.
Tuesday, April 17, 2007
Richard Gere in Fifth Gear
Delhi usually is hot this time of the year and in the occasional presence of stars like Richard Gere and Shilpa Shetty tends to get even hotter. The temperature broke all records when the venerable Richard Gere hugged and cheek kissed the lissome Shilpa Shetty on stage at a public function. The protectors of our culture were on the streets demanding the arrest of Mr Gere [Mr Gerehas been a major supporter of Dalai Lama and that was the reason why he started coming to India but I have never heard the Chinese government demanding his arrest in the US or his externment from India, a point to be noted]
But the more interesting point to be noted was in fact, was that gesture a just social cheek pecking or was there more to it? That really depends on the cultural shades you are wearing. While Mr Gere did not even figure out that he had kicked shit. Ms Shetty initially held forth like an educated and westernised Indian woman, but actually got nervous when Mr Gere executed the dance pose and the cheek pecking became somewhat passionate. To be fair to Ms Shetty, she held her fort in front of the mediapersons and steadfastly denied any wrong intention on part of Mr Gere.
Why did people get so excited? Of course, the protectors of our culture tend to get excited at short notice. I have never seen them so excited when students from north east get raped in the streets of Delhi, nor have I seen them so excited when underage girls get pinched in DTC buses. They do not hesitate to make catcalls or unwanted passes at women. Why were they so upset then? Was there racism involved? Perhaps yes. But I think not. What was involved is more subtle and more deep rooted in our systems than perhaps we realise.
It was the deep rooted Indian pysche of reserving the right to exploit our own women and giving others the right to exploit their women. But you dare not exploit our women. The definition of our and their can be as broad as anglo saxon versus Indians, Hindus versus Muslims and as narrow as Jats and Jatavs, Rajputs and Kurmis and so on. We just love our women and reserve the right to exploit them, we do not want others to do it. Please respect that right or you will hear from us.
Just to be a devil's advocate, let me ask you this: I have seen hundreds of clips of Mr Gere but never seen him that expressive with any western woman out of screen, was he then really getting into fifth gear? What about Ms Shetty? if this is her definition of air kissing at social events in Mumbai, she surely is going to be a huge crowd puller....
But the more interesting point to be noted was in fact, was that gesture a just social cheek pecking or was there more to it? That really depends on the cultural shades you are wearing. While Mr Gere did not even figure out that he had kicked shit. Ms Shetty initially held forth like an educated and westernised Indian woman, but actually got nervous when Mr Gere executed the dance pose and the cheek pecking became somewhat passionate. To be fair to Ms Shetty, she held her fort in front of the mediapersons and steadfastly denied any wrong intention on part of Mr Gere.
Why did people get so excited? Of course, the protectors of our culture tend to get excited at short notice. I have never seen them so excited when students from north east get raped in the streets of Delhi, nor have I seen them so excited when underage girls get pinched in DTC buses. They do not hesitate to make catcalls or unwanted passes at women. Why were they so upset then? Was there racism involved? Perhaps yes. But I think not. What was involved is more subtle and more deep rooted in our systems than perhaps we realise.
It was the deep rooted Indian pysche of reserving the right to exploit our own women and giving others the right to exploit their women. But you dare not exploit our women. The definition of our and their can be as broad as anglo saxon versus Indians, Hindus versus Muslims and as narrow as Jats and Jatavs, Rajputs and Kurmis and so on. We just love our women and reserve the right to exploit them, we do not want others to do it. Please respect that right or you will hear from us.
Just to be a devil's advocate, let me ask you this: I have seen hundreds of clips of Mr Gere but never seen him that expressive with any western woman out of screen, was he then really getting into fifth gear? What about Ms Shetty? if this is her definition of air kissing at social events in Mumbai, she surely is going to be a huge crowd puller....
Monday, April 16, 2007
Sex in the City
Maharashtra and Karnataka governments have decided that they would opt out of sex education in schools. Education being a state subject in India, the centre can not override the legislature of these states. The impact would be on the state run schools primarily, because my guess and experience from many years back is that most missionary schools and private schools provide some semblance of sex education in schools.
For us many years back, it was easy, missionary school, all boys schools and our biology teacher, Mr Mian became by default our sex education teacher. Mr Mian of course could draw extremely well with a chalk on the board and had access all sorts of colourful chlaks. So unbeknown to him the biology classes from standard 8 onwards became really colourful. Initially we giggled, then we asked clever questions and finally when all that excitement settled down we learned something.
What we learned was not much in the sense it was a functional education, we learned about various parts and their functions... It was to scientific and clinical... It certainly never helped us take critical moral and social decisions such as why a woman should not conveive before 18, why it was morally incorrect to sex before marraige, why one should be aware of diseases and hygiene etc etc. Of course, those were pre-aids days so how and why one could contract that deadly disease was till then unknown. The clinical education although interesting enough to tease a conservative teacher was useless. Do you teach a fish to swim? Do you monkey to climb trees, do you teach tiger to hunt? to you teach any animal how to procreate? No you do not... All of them learn it by instinct.
So if the schools going to provide what I called technical education on "sex" it is better not done. If on th eother hand the curriculum is going to include more broad based issues related to sex it may make sense.... Questions such when to have a baby, what health measures to take, what precautions to take, what kind of effect an unwanted child can have... etc etc may be useful...
But getting into the morality of it all can be tricky. Like all moral issues, we can only be judgemental and being judgemental with a child is either likking his/her initiatives or to take him off any learning at all this applies to sex education at all.
I therefore think that it is too tricky to get into at least in schools in our country. If for nothing else, schools which for the last 50 years have not been able to teach maths, physics and history properly should not be dumpled with soemthing as sensitive as sex education.
The second reason for schools to keep away from it is, parents have now almost outsourced every part of child rearing, ayahs, governesses, day care centres, creches, teachers, drivers, private tutors, music teachers, dance teachers, in fact an army of specilists have take over the taks of training the child. Most of these functions till 10 years back would be performed by parents. I think sex education is one which should still be with parents. This will at least ensure that every child suffers from the prejudices or openess of her own parents and do not have to suffer from the prejudices or openess of the teacher[some one else's parents]
By the way, by the time Mr Mian introduced to technical side of sex, most us seem to know much more than him.... so there goes all the education and training.
Cheers.
For us many years back, it was easy, missionary school, all boys schools and our biology teacher, Mr Mian became by default our sex education teacher. Mr Mian of course could draw extremely well with a chalk on the board and had access all sorts of colourful chlaks. So unbeknown to him the biology classes from standard 8 onwards became really colourful. Initially we giggled, then we asked clever questions and finally when all that excitement settled down we learned something.
What we learned was not much in the sense it was a functional education, we learned about various parts and their functions... It was to scientific and clinical... It certainly never helped us take critical moral and social decisions such as why a woman should not conveive before 18, why it was morally incorrect to sex before marraige, why one should be aware of diseases and hygiene etc etc. Of course, those were pre-aids days so how and why one could contract that deadly disease was till then unknown. The clinical education although interesting enough to tease a conservative teacher was useless. Do you teach a fish to swim? Do you monkey to climb trees, do you teach tiger to hunt? to you teach any animal how to procreate? No you do not... All of them learn it by instinct.
So if the schools going to provide what I called technical education on "sex" it is better not done. If on th eother hand the curriculum is going to include more broad based issues related to sex it may make sense.... Questions such when to have a baby, what health measures to take, what precautions to take, what kind of effect an unwanted child can have... etc etc may be useful...
But getting into the morality of it all can be tricky. Like all moral issues, we can only be judgemental and being judgemental with a child is either likking his/her initiatives or to take him off any learning at all this applies to sex education at all.
I therefore think that it is too tricky to get into at least in schools in our country. If for nothing else, schools which for the last 50 years have not been able to teach maths, physics and history properly should not be dumpled with soemthing as sensitive as sex education.
The second reason for schools to keep away from it is, parents have now almost outsourced every part of child rearing, ayahs, governesses, day care centres, creches, teachers, drivers, private tutors, music teachers, dance teachers, in fact an army of specilists have take over the taks of training the child. Most of these functions till 10 years back would be performed by parents. I think sex education is one which should still be with parents. This will at least ensure that every child suffers from the prejudices or openess of her own parents and do not have to suffer from the prejudices or openess of the teacher[some one else's parents]
By the way, by the time Mr Mian introduced to technical side of sex, most us seem to know much more than him.... so there goes all the education and training.
Cheers.
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