Holi Hai!

Holi, Bihar 1983:
Get up at seven change into torn clothes, by 8 paint yourself thoroughly with oil based aluminium paint so that no one can maul your clean face and get out. On the sly have bhang ka peda [ground bhang paste between two pedas] and get ready for the show.... By 11 am you are high and short on colours and that is when you thank the municipal cororpation for keeping the dains dirty and open... you are lucky if you save yourself a dip in the muck, if you are unlucky and very high, you start feeling that the drain is actually a comfortable bed... 1 PM back home to clean up with kerosene oil and a scrub 2 PM lunch and still very high.... 5 PM wake up change into Kurta Pyjama get out with friends to go house calling and catching up with the pretty girls who refused to come out in the morning... liberal use of gulal on the girls and bhabhi jis and liberal pet pujs of singharas and jalebis and gujias.... 8 PM back home still high but mentally happy.... have puris and sleep with gulal in your head... I just described one day, i.e., the main day of holi otherwise Holi stretches to one week in Bihar and if some enthusiasts are to be tolerated: "Holi Ka mahina hai, kuch bhi ho sakta hai"!
Calcutta 1987: Hindu Hostel
Holi is not for us, so kep that 12 foot door of the room closed.... reassuring because not even an elephant can break through that 100 year old door.... Lot of banging outside, much like Vandals at the Roman Gates, have a quick bath step out to see what the proletariats are doing from a safe distance... 5 PM after a long day's wait open the bottle of McDowell number one and dig in with room mates.... Oh what a day it has been
New Delhi 1991, JNU
The festival of proletarat is institutionalised here... bhang is served post breakfast in the hostel mess... 9 am every one is out on the Jhelum lawns with Bhang ka sharbat in waterbottles... Kavi Sammelan, leftie songs, keeping an eye on which babe is getting stoned with which hunk...some drunken brawls....2 PM no food in the mess, no shops outside open, no water, wait till 4 PM without food and water to clean up... End of the day....
London 1997
A day after holi: "did you know it was holi yesterday, shit man we missed all the fun, we should have stayed in Southall not in posh Russell Sqaure" Lot of nostalgia, four cans of beer in the evening, at last a new excuse to drink... Dinner at 12... 1 AM neighbours request to lower the volume of the music.... 2 AM more nostalgia as people go back to their flats around the square...
Delhi 2004, Posh College Campus
11 am, change into "Holi Clothes" there are only 24 flats on the colony start with the one next door and visit every one... every one visits everyone dabs a little blotch of gulal on the forehead... everyone gathers in someone's lawns, lots of good food which most can't have because food is too rich and bodies too old.... Lots of good scotch, canned beers and branded vodka.... can't have much... Lots of old songs 1 PM catch the watet and clean yourself... early end to the day.... Biryani and Kababs at home with a few friends....
Mumbai 2007
No idea... But Holi now happens on TV. Noticed how all the serials on all the channels have TV theme in them right from the morning... This is bringing Holi to your living room, no fuss, no dirt, no cleaning up afterwards, no gali, no mithai.... Just digitised Holi on the screen... It is almost like watching pornography... deriving vicarious pleasure by watching others play holi on the screen!

It's indeed been a long journey.....

Have a great Holi

The Art of Forgetting

The art of forgetting is a well practiced art but quite popular in India and I have had first hand experience since I have studied one subject only form high school to my thesis: History.... When I attended the first History Honours Class in Presidency College in Calcutta, I was told that forget whatever you were taught in class 12: Aurangzeb was not a bigot, he did what was politically prudent, for example.... He was also the most honest and down to earth Mughal emperor.... Feudalism was not about knights and dames but about social processes.... OK so I forgot and moved on.... In my Masters Class in JNU I was told that forget whatever you were taught in your honours class.... history has been interpreted through narrow isms so far but it is really more complicated than that and keep your mind open... OK so I tried to follow the new guidelines and forget the old.... While doing my PhD in London [you will ask why do a PhD in Indian history in London, but that is a totally different subject for me to answer here]... I was told that PhD is the art of knowing more and more about less and less... So I had to forget larger processes that we shaping the history of the subcontinent and focus on my chosen area and time frames...

Now I see that this practice plagues most of the economists as well especially in our country and with disastrous results because economists as a lobby have more power over our lives than historians or political scientists or even physcists will ever have....

Inflation, when we were young, we were told is just a process of transferring money from one group of people to another.... in this case from fixed income groups to flexible income groups.. in our country from you to your shopkeeper.... and there is nothing inherently wrong and no one suffers during inflation if and only if there is a realtime indexed income.... so if the inflation is 7 per cent my salary automatically goes up seven per cent, so does my return on deposits, savings and everything else and the actual raise is over and above it I do not suffer at all..... so if the interest rate is 5 per cent and the inflation is 8 per cent I should get an interest of 13 per cent.... Similary if my annual salary hike is 10 per cent and the inflation is 5 per cent, I should get a salary hike of 15 per cent... But in spite of many sane economists suggesting indexation of income, savings and deposits, we have never sought this way out in our country and most of those economists probably have forgotten about their earlier solution... with the result that fixed income groups are made to suffer through indirect taxes which are passed on to them by the shopkeeper, merchant, industry, and false bank rates like 8 per cent , 7 per cent of which is eaten away by inflation.... Others are making merry and enriching themselves without moving a figer because whenever there is an indirect tax it is passed on to fixed income groups....

So the art of forgetting may be good for historians it certainly is not good for economists... for them the slogan should be back to basics...

Left, Right, Left, Right...

Do worry I am not askng the reader to march to the sunset, not as yet. This is a simple entry on a rather complicated observation that I made when I was a younger man in my ancestral place which, no do not stretch your imagination, is not in any remote village in Bihar but just forty six kilometres away from Kolkata connected very well for the last 50 years by suburban trains and much else.... This is not exactly my ancestral place which was in East Bengal really.... but this was the place were my grandparents and father and uncles settled when they migrated after partition....
The name of the place is not important but the background certainly is... it has historically been in the heart of the Bengal Jute belt and since the time of the British has housed a large railway workshop, both of which were the primary employers of this town... Politically, post independence with the influx of refugees and more development it has been a sort of left bastion especially, the "refugee" dominated areas... Socially very advanced like most small towns in Bengal, caste colour and creed having very little importance...at least in Public dealings...
It was in this place one fine autumn evening in a house which is connected to mine by marriage and which is the vanguard of the local left politics I saw a bizarre sight:) The feet of a visiting guru being washed by the old widow of the house... nothing unusual for a 60 year old widow, I guess.... But the next scene was even more captivating.... All the members of the family being offered the feet washed water [a few drops] as Charanamrita.... It was a disgusting sight and I left hurriedly before my turn came... and this was in 1988 and not in the age of Ram Mohun Roy!
Little did I know then that more things change more they remain the same at least in our country... This internal cotradiction between more economic and political liberalism leading to more social conservatism OR publicly professed liberalism with privately practiced obscurantism exisits comfortably side by side in the same person in our country....
I was just thinking about this waiting in the traffic in front of the Sai Mandir on Lodi Road in Delhi the other day... it's an open temple by the side of the road, where on any thursday you will see a great collection of most liberated young men and women in designer jeans, fancy cars and other behaviourial parapharnelia of liberalism jostling to get a Darshan....
You would be tempted to call them hypocrites.... but it is certainly more complicated than that.... To move forward and backward in the same stride is a job which only an Indian can accomplish....
Mera Bharat Mahan...

Whisky? No, Peesky!

This is how one of our primeministers is claimed to have reacted when offered whisky on an overseas trip... It was claimed that he was a teetotaller and the only drink he preferred [apart from tea and milk presumably] was anearly morning cup of his own pee... May sound disgusting, but that kept him going for 96 years... as they say the proof of the pudding lies in eating it...I would also say for that Prime Minister that he knew his drinks, which can not be said about most Indians men or women... I shall take up women first... who prefer bacardi, smirnoff or some delicate french wines.... : Simple suggestions... please do not spend too much money on these brands, they are quite useless.... instead go for old monk [best dark rum in the world and made in India], Romanov [Oldest Vodka in India and one of the best in the world] and Please do not go for french wines, if you do not know about wines you would find the best of them very dry [sour]... Indian wines are good enough and a Chantilli [faux, of course] of Indage for 600 Rs would be a good bait...Now, for men if these are your preferred drinks the same advice applies... [we grow the largest volume and best quality sugarcane, potatoes and grapes so there is not reason why we cant make rum, vodka and wines as good as the others].... But if you are a man and do not like any of the above and prefer Whisky and beer, please listen to my advice.... All Indian whiskies are bad, in fact they are not whiskies at all.... You may instead have Teachers or Black Label... But if anything these are absolutely third rate whiskies and probably worse to the Indian palete than McDowell number 1. I suggest do not waste your money on Black/Red Labels or Teachers.... Of course, if you want to know what whisky really is go for that single malt and to the Indian taste, I guarantee you will take to them like fish to water.... any single malt will do.... but if you have the money go for McAllan.... Lagavulin or Laphroaig.... and please do not mix it with water.... I guarantee you, you will never have a hangover even after consuming half a bottle:) Beer drinkers... the world is your stage... but if you are not that broadminded, I suggest stick to Black label or Kingfisher... Fosters and Castle are third rate beers..... If however you really love good things in life here is a list: Bud, Kronenburg, DAB, Michelob among the lagers, if you want to do better, try bitters/ales from England, they are expensive and you need to cultivate the taste for sometime.... If you are brave try the best of them from Ireland branded as Guiness.... Jameson, the Irish Whiskey is also good.... I have never tried Jack Daniels which I do not believe is a whisky:) In the far east be careful about local brews they are exrtremely potent and after a few shots its every easy to eat that raw fish...Cheers....