Whisky? No, Peesky!

This is how one of our primeministers is claimed to have reacted when offered whisky on an overseas trip... It was claimed that he was a teetotaller and the only drink he preferred [apart from tea and milk presumably] was anearly morning cup of his own pee... May sound disgusting, but that kept him going for 96 years... as they say the proof of the pudding lies in eating it...I would also say for that Prime Minister that he knew his drinks, which can not be said about most Indians men or women... I shall take up women first... who prefer bacardi, smirnoff or some delicate french wines.... : Simple suggestions... please do not spend too much money on these brands, they are quite useless.... instead go for old monk [best dark rum in the world and made in India], Romanov [Oldest Vodka in India and one of the best in the world] and Please do not go for french wines, if you do not know about wines you would find the best of them very dry [sour]... Indian wines are good enough and a Chantilli [faux, of course] of Indage for 600 Rs would be a good bait...Now, for men if these are your preferred drinks the same advice applies... [we grow the largest volume and best quality sugarcane, potatoes and grapes so there is not reason why we cant make rum, vodka and wines as good as the others].... But if you are a man and do not like any of the above and prefer Whisky and beer, please listen to my advice.... All Indian whiskies are bad, in fact they are not whiskies at all.... You may instead have Teachers or Black Label... But if anything these are absolutely third rate whiskies and probably worse to the Indian palete than McDowell number 1. I suggest do not waste your money on Black/Red Labels or Teachers.... Of course, if you want to know what whisky really is go for that single malt and to the Indian taste, I guarantee you will take to them like fish to water.... any single malt will do.... but if you have the money go for McAllan.... Lagavulin or Laphroaig.... and please do not mix it with water.... I guarantee you, you will never have a hangover even after consuming half a bottle:) Beer drinkers... the world is your stage... but if you are not that broadminded, I suggest stick to Black label or Kingfisher... Fosters and Castle are third rate beers..... If however you really love good things in life here is a list: Bud, Kronenburg, DAB, Michelob among the lagers, if you want to do better, try bitters/ales from England, they are expensive and you need to cultivate the taste for sometime.... If you are brave try the best of them from Ireland branded as Guiness.... Jameson, the Irish Whiskey is also good.... I have never tried Jack Daniels which I do not believe is a whisky:) In the far east be careful about local brews they are exrtremely potent and after a few shots its every easy to eat that raw fish...Cheers....

TGIF or TGIS

Do not worry about the abbreviations on the title. I am sure most of you have been dealing with more complicated ones like RFID or RGBS and the like... This is really simple...Thank God Its Friday (TGIF) used to excite a lot of people... After a hard day's work one would look forward to the weekend from Friday evenings onwards etc etc...I have realised Friday is the worst day of the week. Its not Monday, it;s actually Friday... At least for people like me. it's the day when bosses dump a lot of work just around 4 PM and extract your promise to deliver by luchtime on Monday... that is tolerable, after all what else can bosses do... More repulsive is the behaviour of your reportees..... they have been promising to deliver a finished product since Monday and failed... come Friday 4 PM when you are tired of following up.... you get an email attaching a half finished work, which has to be completely reworked and the obviously Monday is the deadline... You rush out of your room to catch the bugger and the security guard tells you very helpfully that the guy jist left five minuted back... As a good guy you do not like to bother juniors on the mobile on Friday evenings......I have therefore devised a way of surviving this two two sided pressure: from top as well as from botttom... Whether I am in office on any other day of the week or not, I make sure that I put in at leat four hours every Saturday.. That's is the best time to get some serious work done... That is why I have devised this rather unimaginative term TGIS, thank god it;s saturday....
You may dislike this strategy, but for me it works very well. On Monday morning I am the only one laughing in the office.......

Highway Robbery

Have you ever been robbed by law enforcement authorities? I have never been, but I was told as a young boy growing up in Bihar that even when you are paying a bribe, do not ever take out your wallet in front of a police man, else whatever you have inside the wallet will no longer be yours i.e., what you have inside the wallet will determine how much you pay. It works noth ways, many a times I have shown empty wallets and got scott free with of course remarks about my economic and social standing. I do not mind those comments am thick skinned:) But that was not higway robbery. What is highway robbery is to pass an ordinance to get free stuff which has been bought at a cosiderable value by a small company. This is highway robbery and has beencommitted by the government of india or its infamous arm the Information and Broadcasting Ministry.I am sure the government has a sound reason to pass this ordinance, but it is just that it has failed to explain the reasons transparently to the public. If this is to reflect the popular feeling about cricket and how the teeming millions who have no access to cable TV or cannot afford to pay for viewing, it is then a good reason. But then it is the same ministry which has done away with Cable Operators and has started the expensive version of Cable or Satellite TV where viewers in certain areas of the major cities have paid through their noses or not been able to afford it at all [I paid 4000 Rs in Delhi for Tata Sky and 1500 for a CAS in Mumbai my maids and driver in both the places have not been so lucky. And now CAS is going to be extended to all cities].
Secondly, if cricket is so popular and needs to be reached to the masses whenever those matches happen, isnt Ramayana, Mahabharata or Nach baliye, Kyun Ki Saas Bhi Kabhi Bahu thi equally popular? Does the government have any plans to ask for free feed from TV companies for these popular serials as well? Then all of us can go back to watching good old Doordarshan free of cost:)
Confused? So am I!

Neo Colonialism

The buy out of Corus (erstwhile stolid British Steel merged with a dutch company) has had the Corus union in UK worried: obvious fear of job loss compounded by the fact that the jobs would be determined by and Indian company. Normally, the Brits are pretty tolerant and Bindas and the anti outsourcing lobby does not work threre half as well as it works in US. But as they say even the worm turns at last... Like the Indians have a high level of tolerance till you show Krishna as a vicious political animal, or try to paint pictures of Allah or think of releasing the last temptation. Let us face it, Corus is a very inefficient company and Tata Steel is very efficient. J N Tata while planning to establish a steel factory (which became TISCO the forerunner of Tata Steel) had returned empty handed from UK: he had gone there to raise money and seek exeprts in prospecting etc. He was told that the idea of building a steel plant in India was a pipe dream [I am sure the Vitorian Englishment would have used more soothing words to drive this message home to Mr Tata] Subsequenltly much of the technical expertise was brought in from the US and much of the money was raised in India [Mumbai]. This is history turning on its head:) Tata's of course have never detached themselves from the brits. In the initial years Tata Steel survived and thrived on guaranteed orders from the India Railways [which was owned by British stockowners] and Tata House in Grosvenor Square in London has been as venerable a sign of Indian presence in UK as the India House off London School of Economics.
India is the fourth or third largest inward investor in UK and with the corus deal we would have expected the following:
Airtel to take over Vodaphone in the next 3 years, BSNL to buy out British Telecom, DMRC to buy of London Underground; Vijay malla to buy out White and McKay and give us some good scotch at Indian prices; Appollo Group with eh support of Max can buy out National Health; HDFC and ICICI can make a joint pitch for the Insurance companies in Scotland and the Indian BPOs can buy out the Irish ones. As my Bangladeshi Brit friend in Whitechapel would say "In your dreams buddy"