Do not be alarmed, I do not intend to take on Microsoft with this post. I simply like microsoft and think by and large they are doing a good job and given some time they will do better.
This is about a much simpler thing really. Not so simple! But what the heck!
I am an avid late night TV watcher (programmes are more interesting as you will soon see why, there are no sas bahu serials at that time [bahus have all gone to sleep by then to be up early morning to make parathans for their adoring and diamond ring giving husbands]; and more importantly this is my sleep replacement therapy and thought time.
Since a few nights I have been watching a TV channel called Zee Music. It is an entertainment channel (the other two genre of channels in India being News and Serials, there is no fourth type [not incuding "phoren channels such as Discovery and NatGeo]. Zee Music is a reasonably good channel for entertainement [Movie clips, reviews, songs, all administered by skimpily clad hostesses [although you have to bear with Komal Nahata from time to time].
It was not one of the songs or one of the pretty hostesses which attracted my attention. It was Malaika Arora that drew my attention. I am yet to meet a man whose attention she does not draw!. But it was not her that drew my attention, really [I swear, i am telling you the truth].
Between the numerous songs and dances, there is an interesting filler called "Eye Candy". And you guessed it, it a all about Ms Arora, displaying her wealth [these clips runs for a few minutes showing her in the bath tub, or frolicking around in hotpants etc] Damned good and certainly more than just eye balls for the channel.
But even this did not attract my attention {I again swear I am telling you the truth}
So what did? OK here it is. Eye Candy showing Malaika Arora in various stages of undress. These clips also have a sponsor: a popular cocunut hair oil. Interesting business model to get fillers too sponsored. But what is even more interesting is that the model for this hair oil [and no prizes for guessing] is Malaika Arora.
Here at last is a marketing head who thinks [aslo envisons]
My take: This is what I called bundled software! Bill Gates Take Note, please,
Wednesday, September 13, 2006
Seriously Stupid
Let me be seriously stupid this time. I am tired of acting and being wise all the time.
Are you one of those who suffers from a modern afflication called mobile menace? if you are serioisly mentally challenged not to know what I mean, you do not need to or you are one of the lucky ones who does not own a mobile phone.
Coming to the point I am making, no a Sunday (or even a weekday) does not go by when I do not curse some of the biggest and shall i say the best businesses in India. And since I know many of these CEOs by name and reputation I curse them by name. The culprits are typically my mobile phone service provider (AirTel), ICICI Bank some insurance companies etc. My curse goes like this: My airtel subscription does not entitle Airtel to subject me to stupid calls (I am calling from Airtel, sir, do you want to change to post paid: My answer: Darling if you are calling from AirTel you should know I changed to post paid four months ago, then under my breath: Thanks for calling darling, please make the next call to Mr Sunil Mittal!). Exactly the same call and same response to ICICI credit cards (I have a card for a year[i had it just to get rid of such calls, but that did not help!], ending with under my breath: Thank you darling can you make the next call to Mr Kamath or one of those formidable ladies at ICICI.
Mind you I am a not for a minute averse to the idea of mobile marketing/selling. But it is the brainless way in which it is done which irks me. Seriously, i do not mind if a good marketeer calls me on Sunday afternoon and engages me cleverly [a good coversation is still at a premier in this country on the mobile or face2face]. But no, it has to be something stupid, or something I already have, or something i will never need.
Why cant we make it more intelligent. But how do we do it? If I knew the answer, I would probably be the CMO (that's chief marketing officer for you) at a large company. But what the heck, this is a blog and I am free to come up with any suggestions!
1. Please do some homework on the data that u have stolen or bought or some DSA offers you.
2. Do not go by the numbers (do not be impressed by me if I offer you 2Lakhs mobile numbers in Delhi and Mumbai (ask questions such as do you have a profile behind these numbers?
3. Reduce the numbers to one tenth (out of 2 lakhs pick up only 20K
4. Ask DSA to call each of these numbers and offer a 25 Rs top up if pre paid OR a 30 Rs download free (please stick to your promise) and then say Sir/ Madam: would you please listen to me and get this reward.
5. i am sure it would be more rewarding for both the seller and the consumer
6. Over a period of time you would be able to build up a database of people who would be anxiusly waiting for your call (to top up their accouts and pass on the good word about your products)
7. Please remember, just because I stay in Delhi does not mean I speak Hindi
Please do not steal my ideas, think something of your own.
My take: Most marketing heads do not think, they just follow other marketing heads
Bragging at BlogCamp
The recent blogcamp at Chennai turned out to be quite an exciting "unconference" that the organisers stylishly and shall I say rebelliously called it.
There was nothing rebellious about the blogcamp. To begin with it was very well organised, quite well structured, sponsored by big names such as Yahoo! India and Nokia (you cannot get more mainstream than that). More interestingly, "successful bloggers" elicited the loudest claps (as in a conference). Sunil Gavaskar was charming and not at all out of place in a place where I an under 40 thought mydself to be the oldest living being around!
Like elsewhere, the parallel track two was more interesting which was dedicated to the tools and rules of the game.
I was happy to observe some of the sharperst and keenest young and not so young minds in India are clearly dedicating some of their time (in this age when time is really money) and knowledge to a public good. Most of the participants, I found out held lucrative jobs or were students at premier institutions (one step away from lucrative jobs!).
My greatest discovery at the camp was however a book called India Smiles. Sulekha.com one of India's largest online properties ran an online contest on humourous stories, the best entries comprise this book. It is brilliant! there is no other word to describe. Each story is worth a read. The book is published by penguin and costs 135 rupees. Sadly, however, the book included in the "unconference kit" (there was also a delegate kit, if can not get more conferency than that!) reminded me of the still unchallenged power of the print media!
Let's have more of these camps!
My take: Who is a rebel? One who challenges a system to claim a his/her place in the system and then perpetrate it!
Wednesday, September 06, 2006
Mobile and Murder
I am comfortably seated in the Klipper Bar at the Mumbai airport. It would have been very comfortable if it was not a "dry day" on account of Visarjan of Ganesha. I will bear this inconvenience with a smile.
But just heard over the Star News someting that is a fitting epilogue to the earlier post!
What would you do if you suspected a fellow student of stealing your sister's mobile phone? Come now this is less sinster a design on your sister that a fellow footballer had on Zidane's sister, surely.
I guess most of us would (if we were strong enough) accost the suspected thief and sternly ask him to return the phone ..... otherwise.... . If we were a bit timid, we would complain to the teacher, if we were very shy but clever, we would run a quiet campaign in the school... if we were extra sensitive, we would blame our sister for being negligent with her phone!
Hold it, hold it! Did i forget to mention that you are only 14 years of age and in class eight. In which case some of the options that I mentioned may not be avialble to you.
Here is a serious sister loving, criminal hating kid... When he suspected his fellow student, mind you suspected, of pinching his sister's mobile what does he do? He kills the boy! Charming, isn't it?
So is there any doubt in your mind that by the time he is in college, he would be a potential successor to those who are currently accused of killing their professor in another part of India.
Yes, no prizes for guessing, this news is from the national capital of Delhi.
My suggestion:
Like MMR, Polio, etc. etc. are given to children at an early age to keep them alive from marauding viruses and bacteria; every children above 10 needs to compulsorily consult a shrink and his/her profile be maintained. This would make at least the parents aware of where they have gone right and where they have gone wrong and where to put that check. So that when your child on growing up kills, maims, rapes, you will not say "but he/she was not like that"!
Cut the crap, parents, invest time and not money on your kids and teach them to be good human beings.
But just heard over the Star News someting that is a fitting epilogue to the earlier post!
What would you do if you suspected a fellow student of stealing your sister's mobile phone? Come now this is less sinster a design on your sister that a fellow footballer had on Zidane's sister, surely.
I guess most of us would (if we were strong enough) accost the suspected thief and sternly ask him to return the phone ..... otherwise.... . If we were a bit timid, we would complain to the teacher, if we were very shy but clever, we would run a quiet campaign in the school... if we were extra sensitive, we would blame our sister for being negligent with her phone!
Hold it, hold it! Did i forget to mention that you are only 14 years of age and in class eight. In which case some of the options that I mentioned may not be avialble to you.
Here is a serious sister loving, criminal hating kid... When he suspected his fellow student, mind you suspected, of pinching his sister's mobile what does he do? He kills the boy! Charming, isn't it?
So is there any doubt in your mind that by the time he is in college, he would be a potential successor to those who are currently accused of killing their professor in another part of India.
Yes, no prizes for guessing, this news is from the national capital of Delhi.
My suggestion:
Like MMR, Polio, etc. etc. are given to children at an early age to keep them alive from marauding viruses and bacteria; every children above 10 needs to compulsorily consult a shrink and his/her profile be maintained. This would make at least the parents aware of where they have gone right and where they have gone wrong and where to put that check. So that when your child on growing up kills, maims, rapes, you will not say "but he/she was not like that"!
Cut the crap, parents, invest time and not money on your kids and teach them to be good human beings.
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